Cultivating Empathy
A Guide to Connection in the Workplace
An original intention for the movement to spread empathy was to teach people how to lower their egos and see their biases. In a business context, this helps us see others’ perspectives and leverage that knowledge for success. In an interpersonal context, it allows us to recognize our misconceptions and open ourselves to the wisdom and wonder around us. These are skills I’m committed to strengthening as a leader.
Eighty-seven percent of employees agree that practicing empathy leads to increased efficiency, creativity, and job satisfaction. The Actually Curious game teaches empathy skills organically. I’ve learned so much just by hearing how the people who find Actually Curious, organically use it.
To help you all put the game to use in a business context, I’ve compiled this quick list of gameplay styles that you can use to build connection in the office and practice empathy skills together.
Style #1: Question of the Day
By far the most popular professional use case is “Question of the Day.” People tell me they like to introduce vulnerable connections to their teams using one of the lighter Actually Curious decks, like the Happy Hour or Culture editions.
Some on your team never take time for themselves, let alone to connect with each other intentionally. Actually Curious questions give the team a moment of individuality and groundedness, helping them develop a habit of reflection and connection for their self-care and team building.
During weekly team stand-up meetings, kick off by pulling one question to start the meeting. Everyone who wants to answer gets an opportunity. Set aside a specific amount of time, like 10 minutes, at the start of the meeting. If anyone shows up late, this also gives them a little bit of grace to get settled.
This quick and easy play style helps bring an interpersonal element to team meetings, strengthening bonds and contributing to overall engagement with recurring meetings.
Benefits: Mental Health, Team Chemistry, Emotional Awareness
Style #2 — Feelings Roulette
The first exercise we teach in our Five Phases of Empathy™ workshop is called “Feelings Roulette.” The exercise is designed to help you learn more intimately how you and those around you react to emotionally stimulating situations.
This exercise is best led by someone who has practiced a few times. The idea is that all emotions show up as sensations in our bodies. A simple legend of our core root emotions includes: Joy, Fear, Anger, Shame, and Sadness.
The exercise asks participants to listen to a question and, instead of answering right away, to scan their bodies for any physical reactions. After practicing noticing these physical reactions, participants are asked to label them using the five core root emotions.
This is an excellent exercise to bring into team retreats, off-sites, and strategic working groups or sessions. It helps people relax and open up after pushing them a bit outside their comfort zone. Empathy works that way: stretch a little bit, survive, and now you are bigger and capable of more.
Benefits: Emotional Awareness + Management + Resilience, Situational Awareness
Style #3 — Climb the Stairs
Many skip over the rules that are printed in tiny print on the instruction cards in Actually Curious. The original game rules for Actually Curious are based on the science of trust building, used in conflict negotiation and resolution, leadership development, and even sales and romance.
The idea is simple: start light and level up only after the group has built trust and confidence with one another (and themselves). It’s like a golden rule. Actually Curious was created based on two simple insights: groups often tackle challenging topics before building chemistry, and individuals are often listening to speak rather than listening to learn and connect. When you meet these insights with empathy, you realize many people seem to lack empathy simply because they don’t see the habits of their egos.
For this gameplay style, grab the Original Actually Curious, which contains four levels that start light and end deep. Start with a question from the blue level, and award the card to the best answer. The group then votes on whether to stay at the blue level or level up. You keep going until you’ve hit the highest level or until you run out of time. You can always combine Actually Curious decks and stack them in order of difficulty.
Benefits: Group Facilitation, Bias Recognition, Emotional Resilience
Practicing empathy doesn’t need to be hard. Expanding emotional resilience and intelligence in groups pays dividends when the time comes to face change and adversity together. What began as a movement to teach empathy has evolved into a community of thoughtful individuals sharing the superpower of empathy with the people that matter most to them. To all who have heard the call: welcome.
Check out my recent feature in Oprah Daily, “Wait, There Are 3 Kinds of Empathy?”
About Michael Tennant
Michael Tennant, CEO of Curiosity Lab is an entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and author of The Power of Empathy available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, and described by Inc. Magazine’s 100 Non-Obvious Business Books as “A Thirty-Day Path to Personal Growth and Social Change effectively balancing a self-help approach with a practical explanation of how we can use empathy as a tool.” He’s also the creator of Actually Curious™ the empathy conversation game, Values Exercise™, and the Five Phases of Empathy™. In 2022, Curiosity Lab received an investment from Pharrell and the Black Ambition Prize.
