On Unity

A poem by Nimala Sivakumar

before I left for the tenth grade

my parents warned me, telling me to start quieting down

to let words roll off my tongue like droplets of rain

to join the gentle drizzle instead of organizing the storm clouds

and to keep my eyes set on the horizon

the leader of the troupe

to somehow be both part of the crowd and apart from it

and they stitched those phrases together with contradiction

and set it down in front of me like it was dinner

and I saw it not as orders but

as a choice

before i left for tenth grade

i had fallen back in love with my culture

with banana leaf plates and silk sarees and dosa and idli

and bending space and time between my fingertips and joining elements together with my hands every time i ate

the words had long lost their home on my tongue

but i found them and pieced them together with broken accent

finding through my own cultural history

that rebellion courses through my blood

that the scorned children of Murugan, god of war

the god I was named after

joined hands even though some found solace in Gods that did not make their home on the summit of the Himalayas

and spun storms with the same hands that joined elements at their will

and with the words of the thirukurral on their tongues

they claimed ‘nininru amaiyatu olakenin yaryarkum

vaninru amaiyatu olukku’

‘The world can’t survive without water’

‘And morality can’t exist without rains’

As I started tenth grade

I knew rebellion coursed through my blood

That mere water brought upon the floods of morality

And with my parents warning drums reverberating in my ears

i knew i had to make a choice

and during tenth grade

with the words of thirukkural stuck in between my teeth

in face of the sun-dried soil that ignorance found its home in

i continued to pull together the rains

rebellion is the trickle of water into the dry soil

it is the refusal to yank the gold from my friend’s flesh

it is the refusal to become inure in the face of injustice

it is the refusal to shut your eyes and close your ears

because though silence quells the fears at night

when everyone shuts their ears injustices go unheard

all but a wound whispering victims in the wind

as i ended tenth grade, i bought six books on the subject of love

i yearned to find some kind of answer,

some idea of how to better myself and how to be ‘happy’

but all i realized is that love finds its home anywhere

it permeates every word in every language

it nourishes the seed and gives way to life

it opens the redolent rain lilies

it is the rebellion that shakes the dry bones of those who refuse to pay attention

it is the rebellion in a time where we attempt to overcome floods on our own

it is the rebellion in a time where we only see what divides us instead of what draws us together

unity is the petrichor emerging from the rich nutrient-filled soil

the blood of all gods that gives way to all life

and the verse from thirukkural that stays spinning in my mind

vellath thanaiya idumpai arivutaiyaan

ullatthin ullak kedum

that the floods of tribulation will be wiped away

when the wise set their minds on overcoming it

that alone, one drop cannot nourish a field

but together, a storm can bring life to dry soil

and in the blushing crimson of cruel history

with blood smeared content and torn out pages

we continue to hold the pen

and as fraught times continue

and the sun takes its high throne in the sky

let us hold our hands up high

draw together the clouds

and let it pour