4 Ways Manipulators Use Kindness as a Weapon
#3 — They use it as a disarming tactic
Did a liquor store cashier exploit me with her kindness? I still don’t know. The exchange started when she scanned my bottle of wine. Instead of asking for payment, she sized me up, staring at me for a long second before asking to see my ID.
She glanced at it and then back up at me, perhaps confused by my mask.“No way,” she said. “You’re forty-nine? That can’t be right. I would have guessed thirty-two.”
“Thank you,” I said. “You’re my new best friend.”
She laughed as she rang me up. “Oh, we have a special for the cabernet on display behind you. Grab a bottle? Why not two?”
I followed her instructions, almost reflexively, adding two bottles to my purchase.
I’d like to think her compliment about my youthful appearance had nothing to do with her upsell. But I can’t say for sure because kindness, in all its forms, can serve as a useful tool for manipulators to persuade you, control you, or take from you. It works for two reasons:
- It’s difficult to distinguish genuine kindness from its manipulative counterpart.
- Even when we do recognize inauthentic niceties, we still feel an urge to respond in kind. There’s an old saying, “It’s hard…
