Valentine's Day was last month, and I could see the excitement everywhere. The fact that we need to celebrate love still boggles me, but there’s a sublime relationship of love we miss to celebrate every day.
Can you guess which one?
I am talking about the relationship you share with yourself.
You may find it corny, and this fact makes it more appropriate for you to celebrate the relationship you share with yourself. If you haven’t done it before, I present you with eight ways to do so.
1. Trust Your Timeline
It’s a human tendency to compare ourselves with other people.
You can be jealous of others' wealth, their perfect life, or their relationships — especially when it’s valentine’s week. When you compare yourself to other people, you jeopardize your capabilities and doubt the possibilities. You become oblivious to your life and the pace of it.
For years, I compared myself to people who wrote better than me and those who were more successful than me. It didn’t help me in any possible way; in fact, it left me bitter and hopeless.
Recent researches have shown how comparing affects our mental health and causes low self-esteem. That’s why Theodore Roosevelt called the comparison “the thief of joy.
Once I stopped comparing and understood that my journey is different from theirs, life became a joyful ride. Every person has a different timeline. Some people may get there before you, but that doesn't mean you will not get there.
Life is not a zero-sum game.
Trust your timelines and enjoy the journey.
2. Appreciate Your Efforts
Every day when I wake up, I eagerly check my Medium Stats and views on my YouTube channel. I sigh, seeing the number, and end up feeling dejected. I am working on not checking my phone first thing in the morning (wish me luck).
In the running behind the algorithms and numbers, I forget to value myself. I focused on the results, and I stopped appreciating my effort and the hard work I was putting. Learning that results were not under my control was a hard pill to swallow.
Over the last few months, I have started celebrating my small wins, and I applaud my efforts instead of the results. As Mother Teresa once said
“We realize that what we are accomplishing is a drop in the ocean. But if this drop were not in the ocean, it would be missed.”
Every day we are all trying our best to be a better person and grow professionally and personally. Even when no one sees your efforts and wins, you’ve to acknowledge them and feel great about how far you’ve come.
Because without efforts, there’s no result.
3. Calm Your Mind
If multiple browsers open on your computer for too long, your system may get stuck or crash anytime. The same thing happens when your mind goes through numerous scenarios and thoughts at once. When I cannot control my 108574 views anymore — I get overwhelmed, and the anxiety creeps in.
You’re sitting at home but wondering about what your best friend is doing miles away. You’re sitting in the sun but thinking about how many likes your new post on Facebook will get. There are gazillions of such examples of excessive thinking. We can’t perform our best when our mind is not calm.
A peaceful mind is the best gift you can give yourself. Spend time in meditation and alone to let your mind wander and come at peace.
Your life works in the same system as the one stored in your mind.
To reach your peak performance and be mentally healthy, you need to make sure you’re at peace, and your mind is calm and serene.
“The rarest and most valuable thing on this planet: a clear mind.”
4. Don’t Try to Fit in
There are 7 billion people in this world, and all of them are different from one another.
When you try too hard to fit in with others, you become oblivious to your uniqueness and interests. You forget your roots and things that make you who you are. You try too hard to get accepted by the status quo. But what if you stopped the urge to fit in and accept yourself?
Self-care begins when you start listening to your own heart. Choose things that you want to do without feeling intimidated by what others will think.
You are meant to thrive precisely the way you are.
You are an eclectic mix of beautiful traits, don’t let them go in vain in trying to fit in a place you don’t belong.
Hold firmly to your uniqueness and appreciate it daily. Don’t agonize your heart and soul, thinking it’s difficult to get along with a few people.
Forget about fitting in and focus on finding people like you and building your own tribe.
5. Eat Right
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body, and a healthy body results from healthy eating habits.
I have been practicing intermittent fasting for almost a year, and I have never felt this energetic before. As a former junk food lover, I have never been this conscious about what I put inside my body.
Eating right is a fundamental part of self-care.
You’re what you eat, and if you care about yourself, you’ll be more likely to eat food that’s good for your body.
In the long run, hygienic and healthy food will keep you fitter and younger.
It will energize not just your body but your soul too.
6. Appreciate Me Time
No matter how busy you are, you can always take out 30 minutes for yourself.
This “me-time” should be exclusively dedicated to yourself and your self-care.
There is no rule on how you spend these 30 minutes; make them all about yourself. Observe nature and go on walks, ponder over some thought-provoking questions, think about art or whatever that comes to your mind and make you happy.
Have a cup of coffee with your journal. Moisturize your skin. Laugh on your jokes. Practice deep breathing.
As long as you’re fully present with yourself, you’re doing it right.
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
7. Talk to yourself with love
Self-talk is considered an inner monologue that controls our life. It affects our success and is pushing people towards anxiety and depression. We often don’t realize it, but we talk to ourselves the most in our respective lives.
If this is how you regularly talk to yourself, you need to change that immediately.
I am not good enough
I can never write as good as them
I hate myself
Talk to yourself like you’re talking to your best friend.
Whatever we say to ourselves is either taken to our conscious mind and applied in various behaviors or actions or is assumed to our subconscious mind, where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It works!
- I can do this
- I am so proud of myself.
- I am going to give my best
- I love myself
That faint voice in your head, which you usually ignore…controls you!
So think before you call yourself a loser next time.
8. Build a Strong Relationship with Yourself
Self-love is the relationship you share with yourself, and this relationship is the root of all the relationships you have in your life.
Man is a social animal. We crave attention, we crave love, and we need companionship. Depending on others for all of these will eventually make you a parasite.
You need to make self-love the pillar of your life and cultivate a strong relationship with yourself. This will make you independent and strong during difficult times.
Your relationship with yourself will also set an example of how other relationships in your life evolve. If you don’t respect yourself, you’ll likely find friends and a spouse who don’t respect you, only because you’re familiar with that behavior even though it’s not right for you.
The most critical relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.
When you’re comfortable with yourself and enjoy your own company, you get less weary about being single and about anyone’s opinion about you.
You become complete and start looking at life from a different perspective.
Once you see the tremendous power of a healthy relationship with yourself, there’s no coming back from there :)