Being Fine Isn’t Always Okay
How to know when fine is truly fine and when it’s very far from the truth
We all do it. Someone asks us how we’re doing, and we automatically reply, “Fine” even when we are obviously upset. Our life is fine, your life is fine, the family is fine, work is fine, everything is just fine.
Fine doesn’t always mean fine. It’s a word that we all use to avoid telling others how we actually feel and what’s really going on. We believe that they don’t want us to dump our woes on them, so we are fine. Just fine. All’s fine.
So, what is fine? What do people mean when they respond with fine?
It all depends on context. When the Uber driver asks how we’re doing, we’re not going to unload all the awful stuff that happened that day. Instead, we respond with fine. This interaction is superficial, and we automatically respond with fine when dealing with essential workers, service people, colleagues, and others with whom we have a casual relationship. It’s polite and appropriate; it’s just fine.
What if we pushed ourselves a bit and started to respond with more information, such as:
- “Today is going really well. Thanks.”
- “It could be better, but thanks for asking. I appreciate it.”
