How Love Turns to Disinterest or Hate
For everyone who is an angry ex or has one
My friend has a difficult ex — although difficult might be a massive understatement. There’s a whole story involving parental alienation, constant angry messages, and continued character assassination. So, how does anyone go from being coupled and in love to bitter enemies?
I think about my own life and see the pattern. The first blush of love can shift, fading entirely or intensifying. We never know which it will be. If we did, most of us would avoid the heartache of love found only to be lost. It’s the hope that keeps us going — the hope that this time, this love, will be the one that lasts.
There are reasons that love shifts to disinterest and even into hate. It’s easy to think of relationships in black and white. We assign good guys and bad guys and remove much of the complexity. There’s not enough time in the world to list them all, but there are a few that stand out to me.
Anger: Easier Than Sadness
Let’s face it: it’s easier to be angry than to be sad — and far more socially acceptable, particularly for men. When we grieve, people too often jump in to tell us how to get over it. When our grief lasts longer than is deemed seemly, the messages change to frustration, resentment, and an…
