How to Deal With Being Rejected
Without blaming yourself for it
So you finally expressed your feelings to someone you like.
You had expectations of how it might go, good or bad, and maybe even prepared for the worst. You might have sent the message and switched off your notifications, sweating with anxiety the whole day, as you try to distract yourself by binge-watching a series or being extra productive, or perhaps you were hopeful that they felt the same way about you the whole time.
Regardless of your expectations, things didn’t quite go the way you planned. And it turns out they aren’t interested in you in the way you want them to be, and now you’re reading this, trying to understand how to process your feelings.
Take a deep breath. It’ll all be fine. A lot of people are in your shoes, you’re not alone and rejection is part of life. In fact rejection is important and can be one of the best things to ever happen to you.
If someone rejects you, it helps to know that they’re doing you a favour.
It’s better to be surrounded by people who want to be in your life because they appreciate you and the unique magic only you can bring to the table. Their rejection is not about you, but about their perceptions, that had been formed from their own unique experiences in life.
Their standard of beauty is not everyone’s standard of beauty neither is their standard of personality everyone’s standard of personality. Sometimes the absence of people creates new spaces for new interesting people to come into our lives, people who would exceed our expectations and expose us to things we didn’t think was possible.
They’re not your all or nothing, and you will find connections with others that whilst different, would be equally or more fulfilling. Your lack of compatibility with them doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person than you were before you expressed your feelings or got rejected.
You did the right thing by being honest about your feelings, emotions do not make you weak, and regret is counter-productive.
Sometimes encounters are meant to be short, sometimes the lessons you need to learn from people can be learnt in very short periods of time. That doesn’t make the encounter less important, but stretching things further than they should go, can bring about negative feelings that will end up outweighing the positive experiences you had with each other.
It hurts now, but your feelings are valid, all of it. It’s normal to be angry, sad or even jealous. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up, take all the time you need to heal, and do whatever is in your best interests.
You’re not obligated to be around them, nor are you obligated to give them an immediate reply. Most importantly, you’re not obligated to pursue an alternate relationship to the one you had hoped for.
Once you’re in a better headspace, move on. Don’t imprison yourself in an obsessive state of mind or hope that they’d come around later, you’d be punishing yourself twice which would lead to more negative feelings later on in the future.
Half-heartedness, lukewarmness, hesitation, mediocrity would have only affected you negatively in the long run. You’re enough, you’re unique and you deserve only those who are sure, passionate and have your best interests at heart.
Over time you’ll be grateful for the rejection when you see yourself growing, thriving, making new connections and becoming the best version of yourself you could ever possibly be.
