How to Stop Feeling Misunderstood.
Have you ever thought you communicated exactly what you wanted to only to be totally misunderstood?
Times when you receive unexpected responses or worse, no response?
This happens to me with my boss and co-workers. It happens with my wife. It even happens with my eight-year old. My very literal, black-and-white eight year old to whom I give specific instructions! Repeatedly, I have left situations feeling like I’m screaming but no one can hear — like I’m yelling through a broken loudspeaker.
Eventually, I figured out that I am the common thread in all of these situations. And if “no one understands me”, then it’s probably because I’m not making myself understood.
That is, I am a poor communicator.
Being misunderstood is painful. When we feel like we’ve said exactly what we intended to but wind up with results we didn’t expect, it’s a threat to our identity. We feel frustrated and isolated by the experience, but mostly feel dehumanized.
Fixing poor communication is a long process, but here are a few steps I have taken to improve and feel better understood.
