How to Unlearn Your Constant Need to Be Liked and Chosen
Take your life back from everyone else.
“When we are not chosen, we feel bad. When we are chosen — even by idiots — we feel good. We need to unlearn this imprisonment. Not dissect and analyze it. Just completely unlearn it.” -James Altucher
Most people live their daily lives trying to please others.
It’s how I used to live. In high school, I remember being constantly disgusted with myself for being such a doormat. I was a total pushover, because I was afraid if I said no, or stood up for myself, people would reject me.
I needed to be chosen — by cute girls, by the basketball coach, by my teacher, by the guys in drum line. So I did things for people even when I knew I wasn’t being myself at all.
I didn’t realize I should’ve rejected all of them instead. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have been so miserable.
This is not how you’re supposed to live. Soon, this superficial behavior will make you rot from the inside out. It’s toxic. As Tim Denning once wrote, “Not being you will destroy you.”
It took me years to stop pining to be liked and chosen. I mean, I still do it — I still struggle with laughing at jokes I don’t find funny or agreeing with opinions I actually disagree with.
