My So-Called Work Life
Why we should reject the concept of balance and focus inward for sustainability.
I hate the trope of balance. Balance is something for the 1%, and is 100% out of reach for the rest of us. Still, the word haunts us from bus slogans to yoga studios to work Zoom meetings. The economic reality in the United States is such that our output is consistently more than our input, whether we are talking income or creative energy. We grow tired not only because we are working to the bone, but because a job is often a vampire, sucking us dry and offering a slow, under-compensated death in return.
I have an enduring suspicion that the concept of “balance” has become a way for companies to get away with practices that dehumanize. I myself have worked in many a place that tout the benefits of vacation, all the while beating employees with a measuring stick named productivity. Many in my generation are giving up on the dream of retirement, weighed down so very deep by student loans and without the fruits to show for it. We are steeped in advice to keep making payments towards a relief that is ever on the horizon, never actually realized. Our future is invested in finding some version of a dream job instead, because we know we may never be able to leave.
The subject of sustainability is a necessary one, but also has a disingenuous flavor. I want to pause and ask, “sustainable for who” and “sustainable why”? I am reminded of the times I have said to my direct reports “You HAVE to rest so you don’t burn out, so you can keep going.” I now cringe at that philosophy, because I realize it serves the capitalist machine and eases my guilt at seeing folks overworked and undervalued. The individual should rest because a human body needs and deserves rest, simply through its existence.
My bulldog has no mental or moral qualms about zooming around the yard for 3 mins and then immediately curling up to sleep for the next four hours. She is an excellent role model for how work and rest sustain one another. As a human, I find myself needing to wrestle with what I deserve in ways that dogs seem unburdened by. My goal now is to disengage the toxic ideas I have internalized by a world that wants to wear me out. I want us all to find ways divest from the worship of productivity in the workplace to serve a higher calling of having fuller, more authentic lives.
I start with “What sustains me?”. The answers will be slightly different for each of us, but most human beings want their life to have meaning or purpose, deep connections with others, and some sense of control. Checking in with our feelings-actual physical bodily feelings-can be a great lesson in what sustains us. How many times have you told yourself something is good for you as a habit, and not because you have an actual sensation of pleasure or satisfaction from it?
Pleasure is not trivial or an afterthought. It is a signal of what nourishes our bodies, our brains and even our relationships. Can you consider the things that give you pleasure as necessities, rather than things you earn through an unforgiving work schedule? This is one way to begin shifting your philosophy away from “I work to earn pleasure” to “pleasurable activities are sustenance”. This is a mental practice that takes some time, but adopting it can shift your behaviors towards work almost automatically.
As I began to really buy into this philosophically, my calendar filled up with social activities, road trips, hikes in the woods with my dog, lunch breaks, and vacation and mental health days. My priorities began to adapt to this new way of thinking and the philosophy became a living, breathing practice. For some of us, the practice may need to come first. Start logging and filling your schedule with things that bring you joy, even if you do not wholly buy into these things having equal value to whatever brings you income. If we allow work to dominate our entire day to day, if work becomes the frame into which we fit everything else, who and what are we sustaining?
Another question I ask myself is how can I position myself and my work, so I am doing more of what brings me joy, and less of the soul-sucking busy-ness? Of course, we may be hampered by the must-dos of whatever position we are in, but there are protective strategies that help us guard against burning out on them. Scheduling the things I’d like to avoid during my mornings (when I typically have the most physical and mental energy) is a big one for me. It is counter-intuitive because when we feel good we want to do things that keep us feeling good.
But, on the flipside, that means we are draining ourselves with slog work in our most already-drained moments. I force myself to schedule the most taxing tasks of my day during my positive and productive moments. Working on the things I love to do in low-energy periods of the day balances my exhaustion, because I am getting joy and stimulation from what I am doing. Managing where and how you use your energy in the most advantageous ways may look different, but it is worth taking a look at.
I also fully believe in making imagination and creative time a priority. If you are a creator, this is NOT the creative process of making the thing that is your work. Rather, this is time to live in the realm of imagination, where you can access the part of you that dreams. Most of us are driven more by inspiration than we realize, and we can make a regular practice of introducing that inspiration into our work life. If you like famous quotations, sticky note one at the beginning and end of each day that represents what you want in life. Have a five-minute dance party in between meetings to whatever song you’re stuck on that week. Spend a half-hour on Thursdays making something with your hands out of whatever is available to you as a building material. Name the thing and post it on your IG or TikTok. Find whatever ways you can to infuse your day with play. Play nourishes ALL of our brain’s processes and tends to lift our spirits and make us more empathetic to one another. Play also inspires creative, out-of-the-box thinking and strengthens our capacity to problem-solve.
Finally, invest time at the end of your workday for a ta-da list. This is an idea that is not my own, but has worked wonders to flex my reflective muscle and combat the critical voice inside of me that is seemingly never satisfied. A ta-da list is the answer to your to-do list. It is a place where you write down each task you completed at work that day as a reflection point. It rounds out the day by pulling your focus away from “what you have to get done” to “what you have accomplished”. This practice has become so instrumental for me, since COVID-19 has stolen many of the ways I have my work reflected back to me in a typical, pre-COVID work environment. It has helped re-orient me on days where I wonder if I have done anything at all.
The pandemic is primarily and truly a devastation. But quarantine and COVID-life has called into question my whole way of being around work, which can be an incredibly positive and generative force. All of the things that were automatic suddenly paused and I was forced to be more conscious of the how, why, and what of work. Taking the opportunity to slow down and ask questions pulled me out of the unconscious grind. The bottom line is you can always go back to working yourself into oblivion, because the demand for productivity is not going away. At least you’ll know you are doing what you genuinely want in life and not just going with someone else’s flow.
