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Nodependency: How to Fall out of Love
Simple advice on how to get out of an unhealthy relationship
Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.
I see the better and approve it, but I follow the worse. — Ovid
How do you get out of a toxic relationship? Well, if we were smart, we’d ask some people who have already done it. If you do this, you’ll tend to find at least one common theme that stands out pretty clearly. They finally realized that the person in question was doing them more harm than good. There’s something odd about that, though. Many people who are still in ongoing toxic or abusive relationships will tell you they already know that it’s bad for them. They nevertheless feel as if they can’t leave. So we have a paradox. What’s going on?
Well, again, if you ask some people who have been through this, but found the courage to leave, “What do you mean?”, they often give similar answers. They will say things like “I knew intellectually that it was doing me harm but it took me a while to really accept the truth at an emotional level!” or “I knew in my head but then something happened that made me realize how bad things had become!” You could say they’re “in denial” but there’s another way of looking at it, which I think may often be more helpful.
