Self-worth

Pedestals Are for the Birds

Take people off of it

Kimberly Fosu
Jan 12 · 4 min read
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If you place someone on a pedestal, you give them no choice but to look down on you. (Photo: Ron Porter)

People on Pedestals Are the Hardest to Reach

Remember the person you last placed on a pedestal. Aren’t they the hardest to reach? The person I put on a pedestal was Rihanna. I love, respect, and admire her, but up until now, she hasn't accepted my request to be best friends. And I know exactly why. She’s way up there and I'm way down here!

People we place on pedestals are so hard to get a hold of. You must go above and beyond to get their attention. It’s draining and if you're able to get their attention somehow, there’s a disconnect because of the distance the pedestal puts between you two.

The people we place on pedestals are difficult to get in touch with.

To Be With Someone, You Must See Eye to Eye

We don’t normally end up with those we’ve put on pedestals. We end up with our equals. Those with which we see at an eye level. When you put people on pedestals; they are higher than you and therefore have no choice but to look down on you to see you.

When I crossed paths again with David, I thoughts he was the one. After all, we grew up together, and we met again in the states. We went our own way, and we reconnected again 10 years later. In my mind, I’d met my soulmate, so I found the biggest pedestal and I placed him on it. And that's the moment I lost him.

There was a distance between us, and we were disconnected. I was looking up to see him and he was looking down to see me. He was bigger and higher, and I was smaller and lower.

Soulmates are equals and are able to see each other while they both stand with their feet firmly planted on the ground, looking at each other in the eye. Realizing this, I gently brought him down from the pedestal, put him on the ground, and then I climbed onto that pedestal!

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The only person you should put on a pedestal is yourself. (Photo: INSOAVI)

People on Pedestals Are Above You

And then I met Clark. I thought he was cool. He had been alone for nine years and it seemed he was ready to be with someone. Anyone. He placed me on a pedestal. We'd only been talking for a week and he was already talking about how great I was, how many kids we would have, and where we would live. He said all those things while looking up at me on the giant pedestal he placed me on.

It’s great to be placed on a pedestal because it shows you how much someone loves you, but it creates distance and pressure.

I felt pressured to act a certain way that I wasn't ready to act. There was immediately a disconnect, and the relationship failed before it even started. I brought myself down, picked the pedestal up, and tossed it so far into the void!

If you place someone on a pedestal, you give them no choice but to look down on you.

Pedestals Are for the Birds!

There's a huge difference between putting a person on a pedestal and holding them in high regard. When you hold someone in high regard, you respect them as a person, but you don't think they are better or higher than you are.

When you place someone on a pedestal, you place them above you, meaning you are beneath them. While you may respect and love them, you are setting your relationship with them up for failure.

When you place another person on a pedestal, you are not seeing them for who they truly are. You are only seeing who you want them to be and what you want to see. The moment you put another on a pedestal, you are denying both you and the other person the chance to really experiencing each other.

To be with someone, you must see eye to eye. If you have to raise your head to see them or they have to look down to see you, it says that they aren’t on your level and are therefore not your equal. There isn’t that equality needed for a well-balanced relationship.

Soulmates and friends are equals. Someone you have a connection with. When there’s a distance between you and another person, they don’t qualify as a mate or a friend.

They become someone you admire who is out of your reach and can only dream of being with.

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Kimberly Fosu

Written by

Ghanaian-American | Spiritual Life Coach | Creative Writer | Pisces/Aquarius. I love writing about the mystical ✨ https://linktr.ee/Kimberly.fosu

Curious

Curious

A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

Kimberly Fosu

Written by

Ghanaian-American | Spiritual Life Coach | Creative Writer | Pisces/Aquarius. I love writing about the mystical ✨ https://linktr.ee/Kimberly.fosu

Curious

Curious

A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

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