The Best Way to Support Others May Be to Give Them an Ultimatum
How to lend a helping hand without losing yourself in the process
It happens. A friend or family member needs your help. They’ve hit rock bottom and have nowhere to go, no one to turn to — except you.
You know it’s going to be difficult, but saying “No” isn’t an option.
You can no more turn your back on the desperate pleas of someone who’s a part of your life than you could refuse to throw a life-preserver to a drowning man.
In my case, I was half of a two-member family team who volunteered to provide supervision, housing, financial assistance, and find new job opportunities for a young man — we’ll call him Charles — who was trying to re-establish himself into “regular” society.
Growing up next door, Charles had been as much a member of our family as any blood relative. But a few bad decisions had sent him spiraling down into a life of drug use and petty crime. Eventually, he ended up serving a prison term for theft, the result of stealing from his employer to support his habit.
Being asked to help a family member or friend work through a personal problem or resolve a difficult situation is often a default responsibility…
