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A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

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S.O.S: Save Your Relationship from Overthinking

Han Cao
Curious
Published in
6 min readMar 10, 2023

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Love more, think less.

Photo by Inzmam Khan: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-shirt-and-gray-denim-pants-sitting-on-gray-padded-bench-1134204/

Having recently started a relationship with someone who’s the exact opposite from my ex, it’s hard not to overthink. Comparing your partner to your ex isn’t advised, but sometimes you can’t help but notice the differences. Personality, communication, attachment style — not a single similarity.

When I’m alone and my thoughts are left to wander, they surge into my brain fluttering around like a swarm of bats. The further you delve, the deeper the chasm. Much of our overthinking simply isn’t true, with some bordering on twisted. When I confronted my partner on these thoughts, she was both surprised and apologetic. After hearing her side of the story, I started to understand.

Communication is key. Suppressing all your thoughts isn’t admirable, it’s unhealthy.

Having realised the harms of overthinking, I’ve started to love more, and think less.

Different mindset, different perspective

There are many bitter truths about relationships we learn in life, both socially and romantically. Most of us claim to be open-minded individuals when we’re the opposite: narrow-minded. It takes a lot (i.e. a life-changing event) to change what we think.

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Curious
Curious

Published in Curious

A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

Han Cao
Han Cao

Written by Han Cao

Storyteller, Pharmacist, Violinist. Just your regular guy fumbling through life.

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