Self-Confidence: The Thing We’re Supposed to Have (But Maybe Don’t)
To admit we lack self-confidence is to become a whistleblower on ourselves. But if we don’t help ourselves, who will?
Self-confidence. It seems like such an obvious thing. We should all have it. We should be born with it — this confidence in the self. Simple. But it’s not. Expecting everyone to have self-confidence in every situation is like expecting every child to intuit how to ride a bike simply from being told they ought to have the skill. We have to be shown, we have to be taught, we have to fall, get back up, and try again. Just like riding a bike, some of us can develop self-confidence through observation of others. Some of us, through quirks of personality or environment, are more naturally adept. But most of us need some help — help we don’t often get because our culture already assumes we have, or should have, the thing we are seeking. If we don’t have it, then perhaps we’re somehow defective. So we hide our secret selves because we know no other way.
To call attention to this deficit is to go against all the messages we hear on who we are or are supposed to be. But I think it’s time to blow the whistle. I think it’s time to tell the truth. Here’s my story.
