Speaking From the Heart Will Change Your Life

What is your heart really trying to say?

Brandon Bell
Feb 22 · 6 min read
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Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

It’s the easiest thing to do but we all know for a fact how much inner wisdom we can spread out into the world through our words. We’ve all been through different experiences in our life so when we see someone going through something that we’ve gone through, we just brush it off and say to ourselves that “they’ll be alright.”

Do we ever stop to question ourselves if they’re actually okay? Sometimes we care so much about a person that we say anything to put them in a good mood or at least try to. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to yourself when you’re not being honest.

Speaking from the heart is what we should be doing when interacting with each other. We may say something that we mean but it comes off as arrogant or rude because we’re being too raw. You can still speak from the heart without being mean.

It takes some practice but it can be done and it can also change your life for the greater good. Who knows whose day you’re going to make or who’s the life you’re going to change through your words.

Life becomes a lot easier when speaking from the heart because you don’t have to remember any lies you told and you don’t have to try and impress someone with your words. We oftentimes say things just to make someone smile even when it tears us up inside.

Start being different from everyone you surround yourself with and speak from the heart. You will gain a lot of wisdom through this process and you’ll learn what you’re good at and what you’re bad at when it comes to your verbal skills. Don’t expect to be an award-winning poet with your words when speaking but expect to be more proud of yourself than you were yesterday.

Are Your Words Helpful?

Are you actually helping people when you speak? You have to start being more genuine with your actions and words if you want to truly help someone. If you’re not actually trying to help someone and you’re trying to be the smart guy in every situation, you’re just going to end up exposing yourself whether you like it or not.

Everyone may not agree to every genuine thing you have to say and that’s okay, at the end of the day you know you spoke what you felt and that's what matters.

As a society, we tend to shame others who speak about the real topics and how they really feel because it’s something that we’re not used to hearing. Granted that not everyone who speaks in a genuine tone is being the kindest person at the moment, but sometimes we have to see past that angry tone and listen to the words they’re actually saying.

Are they making a point? Or are they talking just to talk? I know I’m guilty of talking without meaning from time to time, when you’ve been doing it your whole life, it’s hard to change right away.

The next time you find yourself not speaking with meaning, ask yourself if your words are being of service to the person to who you’re speaking too. You’ll realize how many deep conversations come out of simple words that you use from the heart.

Even when talking to a stranger for the first time, they will find it refreshing that they can communicate with someone who is honest about their life. In order to speak from the heart, you have to have some perspective of the people you’re talking to.

Speaking for validation may seem like the right thing to do at that moment but you know how bad you feel about yourself once that person walks away. It’s a habit for us to lie as humans, but we have to understand that it’s not something we can fix overnight!

Once blossoming from our childhood, we realize how far honesty can take us and how many people we can meet when being the most genuine we can be.

Practice Speaking From the Heart

Now that you understand what it means to speak from the heart, it’s time to put it into practice. In order to get better at anything in our lives, practice and repetition of that practice are required.

Once you learn how to speak from the heart consistently, it will become a habit and therefore turn into something that is second-nature to you. If you’re afraid of what people are going to think about you when changing into this new version of speaking, you need to get over it fast.

One way to get over it is to ask yourself “Who do I want to be remembered as?” This is a deep question but you’ll start to understand why it’s so important to speak from the heart versus speaking for validation.

It’s also a good feeling too when you can speak from the heart and people give you a sense of gratitude from those words.

Okay, so you want to start putting this into practice by observing how fast you respond to someone. Go about your day and have conversations that you would normally have, see how fast or how long it takes you to respond to someone.

We usually respond to people a second after they’re done talking. You want to try to wait a couple of seconds longer when talking to someone so that you can actually process what they say and think about what you want to say.

As humans, we’re naturally fast thinkers when it comes to a conversation but when we don’t give ourselves enough time to think about what we want to say and think about how we’re feeling, then nothing that we say is going to be truthful.

After you learn to do this, start talking from the heart with people who you see every day and who you’re close to. You may stutter a bit at first and that’s okay because this is a transition that will take some getting used to.

Once you do this enough times with your loved ones, you can start to try it out on strangers and other people you see on a daily basis. It may seem kind of scary at first but this is just the beginning of you becoming a better version of yourself and a wiser version as well.

Gaining Respect From Others

People don't always know when you’re being honest and when you’re not but they can feel the vibe that you’re giving off when it comes to giving them advice.

There are just some words you can’t makeup and you will surprise yourself with how well your words sound when you speak with honesty. Sometimes, we’re so thrown off by what people tell us that we have nothing to say, in these situations, if you really don’t know what to say then don’t force yourself to say anything.

This is where many of us, as humans, tend to say something we don't mean or that we regret. Saying something that we regret can eat us up for hours and even in some instances days. It makes you uncomfortable and you keep asking yourself why you would even say such a thing.

Eventually, you live and you learn but life doesn’t become stressful until you catch yourself doing it again. The respect that you have for yourself when speaking from the heart will show in some of the people you talk to because they’ll have respect for you also.

This respect wasn’t forced out of them, the people who you talk to become naturally intrigued by what you have to say. They will start coming to you for advice and they will try to start more conversations with you when you least expect it. People will appreciate your advice and they will appreciate this honest, new version of yourself that you’ve had stored away all of your life.

Do what is right and speak from the heart. Again, it’s not the easiest thing to do but it will provide you much more answers about your life than you could’ve ever imagined. I’ll leave you with a quote from John Ford that says

“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.”


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Brandon Bell

Written by

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”



A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

Brandon Bell

Written by

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”



A community of people who are curious to find out what others have already figured out // Curious is a new personal growth publication by The Startup (https://medium.com/swlh).

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