The Secret Shame of Being Single
What if we treated couples the way we treat single people?
I love my single life. I really do. But sometimes, I feel lonely. I’d like to share my life with someone I love who loves me. The problem with being single and admitting to loneliness or the desire for a relationship is that people, especially coupled people, are quick to jump in with advice as readily as judgment.
It sounds a lot like this. You’re just afraid to be alone. You should love yourself enough that you don’t need anyone else. You WANT a relationship; you don’t NEED one. You should be working on yourself. Have you tried dating apps?
There’s an assumption that a single person who can admit to loneliness or a desire for companionship is somehow desperate or a person to be pitied. Yet, no one, absolutely no one, looks at a coupled person in an unhealthy partnership and draws those same conclusions.
Couples in unhealthy relationships don’t encounter the heavy weight of judgment that single people encounter just for existing.
We don’t look at the woman who works full-time and still manages the household and children with little help from her partner and ask why she’s staying with him — even if we…