This Is 40.
A.K.A: Sit down and let Grandma tell you a story.
We live in a 32-story building, so we ride up and down elevators with quite a bit of regularity.
On one such trip, I got on the elevator with an elderly gentleman. It was a relatively short trip because I was only going down a few floors, but during the trip down he stayed quiet in the back of the elevator.
As I got off the elevator and wished him a good day (which is common in our building), his entire face lightened and he raised up his fist and said with great gusto: “Go get ‘em, tiger!”
That was one of the single greatest moments of my life.
I can’t describe it. But something about that unexpected inspiration coming from this unassuming, quiet old man just rocked my world.
Now, indulge me if you will and just imagine that the same scenario happened… but that the man was in his 20s.
Um… weird.
But me? I’ll soon be old enough to say shit like “Go get ’em tiger” to total strangers and rock. their. worlds. And that’s why I’m pretty sure I’m going to love this “getting older” thing.
The potential for elderly shenanigans aside, getting older can be a bit nerve-wracking. I noticed for the first time this year that a lot of my friends share the same birth year as me: 1980. This year, all of us original 80s babies are turning <whispers> 40.
Forty.
That’s how old your parents were.
That’s the age that the term “midlife crisis” was coined for.
THAT’S A YEAR OLDER THAN BILLY CRYSTAL WAS IN CITY SLICKERS.
And so, at the beginning of the year, I had many great plans for what my final year in my 30s would involve:
- Getting in the best shape of my life.
- Taking our business to new soaring heights.
- Actually making time to hang out with friends that inspire me.
- etc, etc, etc.
…well, yeah, I don’t need to tell you what happened instead, because it happened to all of us. (Thank you, 2020.)
But as “the date” crept closer and closer with many of my goals left unchecked, I wasn’t filled with feelings of guilt or disappointment like I expected I would be.
Instead, it occurred to me that I felt…content. Instead of perfect abs, time was gifting me with some clarity instead.
When I was around 6 years old, I begged my dad — who was a musician — to teach me how to harmonize. My older sisters did it and I wanted to be able to join in when they all sang together. He told me it wasn’t something he could teach; I’d just have to grow to “feel” it.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more frustrated with an answer.
And there are so many things in life that are just like that. They simply take time and experience (i.e.: singing off-key over and over) to figure out, and honestly, I’m finally feeling like I’m just barely starting to understand some of those things, such as how to:
- Set healthy boundaries;
- Apologize without making it about yourself;
- Read a person’s energy and know what level you need to be at to make them feel comfortable;
- Stay calm when you aren’t in control of a situation;
- Be okay in your own skin, regardless of its current shape.
There are SO many articles and books about how to do those things and more, but without real life experience and the right state of mind, those are just words.
And all of those things have been major stressors for me in the past, things that I just wanted a clear answer to when there isn’t one. Because every single one of those things have contributing factors that make them situationally unique, so you just have to “feel” it.
All of that to say, life can often be frustrating. We all just want to feel like we have it all figured out. And there’s a good chance we never will.
But, and here’s the kicker: that’s what makes getting older so much fun.
The new experiences. Seeing things from unique perspectives. Realizing that the last time you had “figured it out” you were slightly off-the-mark, but you (probably) really “figured it out” this time. And then understanding you haven’t, actually, but that’s okay. We evolve. We grow. We journey.
And it’s been pretty great to be on this journey with you.
Now.
“Go get ’em, tiger!”
