Change is fucking hard. That’s why few people ever do it on purpose.
For a very long time I would dream about the life I wanted to live but do little to actually work toward living it. I spent a lot of time psychoanalyzing myself on why I’m not living the life of my dreams yet. “Oh, it’s because my dad did this to me.” “If I can just heal my shame then I can show up for my life.”
What I’ve learned, though, is all this psychoanalyzing in the name of “healing” was really me playing small. It was a distraction away from actually showing up and living my life. I chose to analyze why I’m not changing instead of actually changing.
I do all sorts of things to avoid the transition from surviving to thriving. I commit to being confused about how to move forward so I don’t have to actually move forward.
But I’m not confused.
I know what I want. I know what “thriving” looks like for me. I’m just afraid of it.
The transition from surviving to thriving is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And it isn’t even over yet. It has required everything of me. It has required quitting my stable engineering job. It has required me to get a divorce. And now it is requiring me to do the hardest thing of all — believe in myself through failure.
The transition from surviving to thriving has been wild. Just like how in the Chronicles of Narnia when Lucy asks if Aslan the lion is safe. “Course he isn’t safe,” said the Beaver, “But he is good.”
That’s what the transition from surviving to thriving feels like. There is no safety net. But in exchange for a safety net, I get to learn how to fly.
Don’t get me wrong — flying is terrifying at first. It’s like learning to fly when you’re afraid of heights. It’s not fun and I’m not cute doing it.
I fall down a lot. I straight up fail. I get the wind knocked out of me so hard I forget who I am.
But I told myself a long time ago that as afraid as I am of failure, I am even more afraid of letting my fear of failure keep me in survival mode.
I have been terrified of what thriving would require of me. And it has required it all. This transition has broken me down to my core again and again. But you know what? I feel more alive and connected than I have ever felt in my entire life.
I have been knocked down so many times that I have just stopped resisting it. My arms are wide open, willing to be knocked down again and again, willing to surrender it all, willing to give whatever it takes, in order to fly.
Just like birds were born to fly, we were born to be loved. Receiving and giving love is what makes us feel like we a soaring.
There is no time or awareness for love in survival mode. There are judgments in the way. Limiting beliefs. Psychoanalysis. A list of everything you can’t do.
The transition to thriving will knock down every single one of your defenses against Love. It will be painful. It will break your heart. You will fail. It will take longer than you hope. But your future self is worth the fuss. You are worth the fuss.
More love and connection than you ever dreamed possible is waiting for you on the other side. You will finally, finally, experience your own worthiness.
Joy will become a constant companion. Your inner child will be at last satisfied and safe to play. You will experience the divine connection with others that you’ve always hoped for. You will connect with your version of God. You will experience abundance, happiness, and peace.
Committing to thriving is committing to coming back to your own light. It will be the hardest thing you ever do, but it will be worth it.
You’ve got one life to live. How much longer are you willing to spend it half-asleep in survival mode?
And you don’t have to do it alone. I am a guide for people in their transition from surviving to thriving. If you’d like some support as you embark on your hero’s journey to thriving, let’s talk.