What I Wish I Knew about LA, before Moving Here 7 Years Ago
I have one of those follow-your-dreams types of stories about moving to LA. You know, the ones that are typically reserved for single women in sitcoms and Miley Cyrus’ Party In The USA? Okay, well not exactly, but pretty close. The story of a 23-year-old, buying a one-way ticket for a flight leaving in 20 minutes. With only a suitcase and a DREAM. No apartment, no cash, up-rooting it all for a new job in a new city.
You’ve seen this Hallmark movie, right?
Well, that was me — 7 years ago. I didn’t know a single person here. No friends, no sofa to crash on: for a hilarious sitcom of events, and no idea of the area I was going to live in. All I had was a blow-up mattress, a few black jeans, and a cracked iPad.
Television ruined me. I totally expected to be greeted by Lauren Conrad at the airport terminal, with the MTV crew behind her, to catch all my not-so-organic moments. Instead, I got a taxicab in the middle of one of the hottest days I can remember and took it to the San Fernando Valley. A 23-mile drive, that took just under an hour. Some people in LA don’t even know what the Valley is, at least it seemed that way.
Location my dear boy, location!
So here I stand. Outside in a black blazer from H&M in the scorching hot sun with a comically large suitcase in hand ready to apply for an open listing.
I didn’t know much about where I was about to move; I knew it was 10-miles from my new office and that rent was way cheaper here than anywhere else. I ended up moving to Reseda, California, dead center in the SF valley. Looking back, all the signs were there that it wasn’t right for me.
Since leaving Reseda many years ago, I’ve found my way to North Hollywood. For me, it’s central to most of my daily activities. It’s a quick drive to work, and on an average day, a 15–20 min drive down to West Hollywood. But, finding out that this was my central spot took years of figuring out where I spent most of my time.
Take my advice, do not sign a lease here in your first 2 weeks if you can avoid it. Instead, get yourself an Airbnb or a hotel somewhere in Mid-City, and don’t fall in love with West Hollywood right away. Coming from someone who absolutely loves their apartment, I still wish I could go back and do this. Explore LA! There’s so much to see and so many different neighborhoods, so take your time and find the vibe that’s right for you. LA is a weird city in that one street is a magical garden of palm trees and sunshine, while the next street could be a rough neighborhood. You know homes filled with influencers. Scary stuff.
Insider Tip: While we’re on the topic of housing. If you see bugs in your new apartment. They ARE roaches. They might not look like it, they might not talk-back or spit at you like NYC roaches, but trust me. It’s a roach and it’s time to move.
Friends: easy to find, hard to keep
Just to be clear, this isn’t about to be your typical rant from a transient complaining about fake friends — it’s actually quite the opposite. I ended up meeting some really fun people when I landed, people that wrapped me into their circle just enough to make me feel apart of the city. As a young adult, I was thrilled. A lot of people have their cliques established already and they can be hard to break into once sealed. The trouble with LA, however, is that a lot of people you meet here are on the move. They are either on to the next spot, the next event, or the next city. So you will find some solid friendships in this town, but keep in mind that it’s a revolving door.
I was once told it takes two years to really feel settled. Well, I have to say — I think it takes longer. It took me three years of finding my way and finding friendships that I felt were stable. The ones I have now I can’t imagine not having. So, if you’re open to meeting new people my guess is you will be fine. Some of the best advice I recently heard was to “just ask someone if they want to hang out.” No one will ever be offended that you think they’re cool enough to want to be around.
However, just remember what I said, people are on the move here. The Hollywood “Maybe” really means likely not.
As Beenie Man once said, “Who got the keys to my Bimmer?”
The car and traffic hype is real. You’re going to see some of the nicest, most tricked out, expensive cars here. The cars in LA are nice! Khloe Kardashian had one wrapped in velvet. VELVET! She had a CAR WRAPPED IN VELVET!
Oh and “wrapped” for anyone from the mid-west means wrapped in vinyl instead of painting it. If you make above $200,000 in LA, you have a wrapped car.
My first job in LA was in Calabasas. Home to the wealthy, the Kardashian-Jenner’s, Drake, and even Bieber — before he was politely asked to leave. So, I was no stranger to seeing some of the nicest cars in my years here. And while the sun might shine just a little different on a matte black Mercedes-Benz G-Class; I’m here to tell you that it really doesn’t matter what you drive — as long as you do. There’s always going to be someone beside you at a red light who has a bigger, nicer car, and who has a darker window tint than you.
On the flip side, you’re also going to see more cars here with huge dents, burnt paint from that 110-degree summer heat, different color bumpers, and cars without windows. That was all in a BMW I saw last week. But it is a BMW.
Whatever you decide on, make sure you feel comfortable in it, because the other truth is the traffic. It’s truly unlike anything, you spend hours in your car. Remember that SNL skit, The Californians? I can’t spot the lie anywhere in that segment. We really do define distances and locations by freeways and the length of time you need to leave before the event.
Problem Solving Quiz: if the event starts at 6pm in Culver City and you leave East Hollywood by 5pm to travel a total distance of 10-miles, when will you arrive? Answer: You won’t Sharon, you just won’t make it. Go home, swing by TJ’s on the way and grab yourself a Charles Shaw because that day is over.
Another insider tip for you; if you get in a fender-bender. Don’t sweat it. It’s a daily occurrence here. People brush them off as if they just dropped their ice-cream on the ground. Just cross your fingers that the person who hit you has a nicer car than you do, and if you’re at fault, hope the car you hit is held together by duct-tape.
Two star-crossed lovers, both alike in SAG-eligibility but split up by the 405
Yah okay, this one is going to ruffle some organic quail feathers but most importantly it’s going to limit your dating prospects. If you find Mr./Mrs. Right and they live West of the 405, and you live in Hollywood, Downtown LA, or the god-forsaken Valley for instance — assume that relationship will never work out. Westsiders don’t even know we exist.
Come for me in the comments Westsiders, but tell me the last time you drove to Los Feliz and didn’t complain the entire way or hold your crystals when you got home to ground yourself from that hectic energy.
Thought so.
LA dating is a forgotten page from Romeo and Juliet. Only Romeo has blonde “natural” highlights, spends all his time at the Bungalow in Santa Monica, and is 100% doing coke in the bathroom. While Juliet is splitting her rent with 4 other girls, going broke for an Erewhon smoothie, and most definitely, without any hesitation has a pink-wall saved on her Google maps. Two different worlds. Remember what I said about location, I’m not kidding. Pick wisely or suffer the fate of singlehood.
Overall, I wish I would have taken some time to explore the city more when I first arrived. I didn’t let my wild side shine at first. I was too focused on picking something quick, inexpensive, and close to my job. While those are all very practical things — I didn’t consider my life outside those 4 walls and the sprawling city that is Los Angeles.
LA is and always will be home to some of the best weather, the nicest cars, and some of the most curated Instagram accounts in existence. The key here, and really the key to everything, is not comparing your experiences to anyone else. It’s hard, but the truth is everyone in Los Angeles has very different realities. So don’t stress that your car is a 2002 beat-up Volkswagen. Or that your apartment isn’t overlooking the Hollywood sign. No two people here have the same experiences.
Above all and past my satirical jaded outlook, it just takes time. Life takes time. Find some comfort in the unknown, I did. If you’re on your way here — be proud that you took a step toward a future that you think is right for you. And when you’re ready, I’ll see you outside PUMP for a cocktail, because that’s the only good thing there. Don’t order the caesar. If you take anything from me, do not order the caesar.
Edited by Los Angeles natives for your enjoyment.
