A Guide for Shining in Emotionally Challenging Times

How can you foster growth in the time of a pandemic?

We all are living in unprecedented times. I mean let’s face it, no one expected that the ‘supposed’ best years of our life will be thrown off course by social distancing rules, home quarantine restrictions and online exams ugh! Who knew that one day some (not all) of us would be tired of watching Netflix?

Feelings of losing control over the most important aspects of our life are not uncommon during these turbulent times. Where some of us feel like we are missing out on important opportunities that could have boosted our CV, others could be feeling robbed of “normal” teenage experiences such as hanging out with friends, the last day of school and travelling.

Blossoming amidst these challenging times

Researcher Dr. Sterlitz claims that while the pandemic has been a difficult time for everybody, it is particularly challenging for adolescents. In this time of uncertainty and chaos, working on yourself may sound overwhelming on first thought. There are so many things that seem out of our control during this unsettling time and the idea of working on personal growth could be strange or even intimidating for some. While the way you feel right now is totally valid, it is important to remember that we cannot let these struggles define our life. These times will put a pause to our life only if we allow them to.

The bottom line of all these challenges lies in stress which may feel like a big mental huddle. We all feel stressed at some point in our life, it is completely normal and there is nothing wrong with the way you feel. However, it is crucial to understand how to express this stress.

Stress can be experienced in three different ways: fight, flight and freeze. “Flight” reactions include criticizing or blaming yourself. “Flight” reaction means withdrawing or isolating oneself. Lastly, a “freeze” reaction means that you can’t do anything but indulge in disturbing thoughts (Irish Carls). Deciding how to respond to stress not only helps you learn how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions well, it also helps you build resilience which helps you go on despite challenges and adds value to your life overall.

We cannot control what is happening in the world, but we can definitely control our reaction to it. For example, if you lose a close friend you can either isolate yourself from the friends you already have so that you don’t end up hurt again or you can choose to focus on the relationships that you currently have. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to make the right choice and to become the best version of yourself to thrive in these challenging times.

How can you foster growth?

Developing a growth mindset

Those with a growth mindset see challenges as a part of the learning process. They tend to focus on the process instead of the end result and see failure as an opportunity to grow. Not all of us are born with a growth mindset. Some people have a fixed mindset where they believe that it is best to avoid challenges and think of failure as a limit of ability. This kind of mindset negatively impacts all aspects of your life. In order to become the best version of yourself it is important to cultivate a growth mindset. But how can we do that? Here’s a list of things to keep in mind:

• Do not judge yourself harshly after failures. Instead shift your perspective a little and rephrase the challenge and opportunity to grow. Remember that there is something valuable to learn from every experience. Identify and acknowledge this valuable lesson and write it down somewhere for future reference.
• Start paying attention to your words and thoughts. How you talk to yourself in your head matters and if your words are too critical or low the result may also be the same. Listen to what you are saying and thinking. Examine yourself and be your own guide.

Mindfulness meditation

Meditation is a mental training that helps you organize your thoughts and stay grounded. It’s a great way to destress and has positive effects on overall well-being. There is scientific evidence to show that mindfulness-based meditation improves our ability to cope with stress and improves concentration. It makes you more creative, boosts happiness levels and has countless other benefits. The best part is that you need to take out only a few minutes every day to see the results. I will provide links to some amazing guided meditation videos (Love and Kindness Meditation, Body Scan, Manifestation Meditation) so you are just a finger’s click away from becoming the best version of yourself.

Gratitude Journal

It is no secret that paying gratitude is always healthy for your heart and mind. And one of the best ways to show your gratitude is by keeping a gratitude journal. You can make it a part of your routine to jot down things you are grateful for that day. It is an easy habit to develop when you look back at it, you’ll be left with a lot of inspiring material to read on a bad day.

Sure, there will be days when you do not feel thankful for anything or would want to throw yourself a pity party. On these days just acknowledge your emotions and be kind to yourself because we all feel like this every once in a while. Even when things are bad, keep in mind that you are stronger than you think, and you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to ☺