What would an Apple university look like?

In Cupertino, California, Apple University serves as a training facility where corporate managers can learn about company culture. The Dean of Apple University is Joel Podolny, a graduate from Harvard University. Podolny is, a former Director of Research at the Harvard Business School, and a former Dean of the Yale School of Management. Courses at Apple University include “Communicating at Apple” and “What Makes Apple, Apple”, both of which are taught by Randy Nelson, a former animator for Pixar.

If you haven’t heard about Apple University before, don’t worry. You’re not alone. According to the New York Times , Apple University is “highly secretive and rarely written about”. However, Apple isn’t the only company incorporating business- related educational lessons in an academic setting. Google employees are eligible to attend a “Search Inside Yourself” course, which combines scientific research and practical application into lessons about effective techniques to increase attention, developing self-mastery through self-awareness, and creating positive mental habits.

Many corporations have training programs and seminars to teach employees how to work productively and efficiently but it seems that Apple University is stretching the focus of their “training” beyond the company. What if Apple applied its current model towards a structured, accredited educational institution designed for students?. Although there have not been any reports of Apple encroaching into the formalized education industry, Apple does offer audio and visual content from a variety of prestigious institutions such as Stanford and Harvard.

It would be interesting to see how the infrastructure of Apple University in the private sector could be translated to the public world. If not as a public university housing twenty to forty thousand students, Apple has the potential to implement trade schools specializing in all things Apple. It is important to remember that these are hypothetical scenarios, but it isn’t that far-fetched to imagine students enrolling in an Apple trade school that all -but guarantees a job with the largest corporation in the history of the world. Just imagine what Apple University would look like.

Editor’s Note: This is a fictional representation. None of the following information is factual. Don’t drop out and try to enroll at AppleU.

Welcome to AppleU, where innovation and technology merge together to offer an education that rivals your traditional 4-year university. AppleU is an eco-friendly, paperless university and each iClassroom is equipped with state-of-the-art iDesks. These specialized iDesks function similarly to iPads; with touchscreen LED displays that are uploaded with lesson materials such as PowerPoint slides and textbook pages in real time.

Each iDesk is capable of raising to an upright position, similar to a personal computer, and extending a mouse and keyboard. Each student will have their fingerprint in AppleU’s database, and by putting their finger on the scanner of the iDesk they will access their personal profile, including specified folders for each of their courses.

iDesk displaysks are visible only to the student looking directly at the screen, by using anti-reflecting glass, in order to reduce cheating. Courses are synced to the iPlanner where professors upload classroom announcements, grades, and materials. Students are notified of each update in real-time. All tests are proctored by Professor Siri at the Jobs Testing Center where results are uploaded directly to each student’s iPlanner immediately after submission. All students, teachers, and administrators are connected to AppleU’s mainframe through their Apple accounts after signing the Terms and Conditions agreement for each semester.

Degrees offered at AppleU include Computer Science, Information Technology, Business Administration/Management, and Marketing. All incoming freshmean are required to enroll in App Building 101, How to be a Genius, and Computer History: From Abacus to Artificial Intelligence. Freshmmean are also required to live on campus for their first year and are not allowed to have personal motor vehicles because of the lack of parking on campus.

AppleU is proud to offer soylent-only meal plans where students can replace solid meals with beverages that include all the proper nutritional elements of a healthy diet. In order to maximize efficiency of the university, only 1000 students will be admitted into AppleU. Prerequisites to the application joining this institution include: (1) owning an IPhone; (2) owning a Mac personal computer; (3) owning an iPad; (4) getting a tattoo of the Apple™ logo (); and (5) vowing to never mention “Microsoft”, or any other Apple™ competitor, in conversation while attending AppleU.

Graduates from AppleU will have access to priority interviews for occupations within Apple, Inc. If you’re interested in attending AppleU, simply ask Siri “Where should I go to school” and you’ll be directed to our application process. The innovations you’ll find at AppleU are unmatched by any traditional university. AppleU is the future of modern education. Jumpstart your future by applying at AppleU today.

“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower” — Steve Jobs