My Time Was Not Wasted, Yours Doesn’t Have to be Either

“I’ve wasted so much time on xxx” I’m sure we’ve all heard this and most likely even said it. Whether about a person, job, school, etc or all of the above. I’m not going to lie or pretend, I’ve said it too. I saw it on Facebook recently and this time it struck me differently.

Is it really wasting your time if they/it contributed to who you are?

Most people think this way in regards to significant others. Whether it was 2 months, 2 years or 22 years, was it really a waste? No, you aren’t getting those years back and okay so maybe right now they left your life and you feel everything else is crumbling, but was it really a waste? Did you have fun with them and create good memories, did they hurt you and you grew stronger from them? Did you learn anything from them or the situation? Are you better off now?

If you can answer yes to any of those questions, you didn’t waste that time. Even if you were left heartbroken, angry and falling apart. Even if you were lost, taken advantage of and have less than you did before. You can chose to let it be a waste of your time and feel bad, or you can learn from it, become stronger and move on to a better version of you.

You are not wasting time if you are changing and growing.

I often look back at the 3.5 years I spent in college and then the next 14 months I spent as a teacher and wonder if I wasted that time of my life. I spent from high school through a year after college dedicated to teaching young children and supporting their families. I spent thousands of dollars putting myself through school, even worked 3 jobs to minimize loans and full course loads every semester to graduate early to save money. And today? I’m a business owner in Real Estate 1500 miles away from ‘home’ and the states I’m licensed to teach in. I still have over 7K in loans (I know, not bad but still) that I’m paying for a degree I’m not using. I almost went to grad school too, but at last minute turned it down.

Over the past two years I have found myself wishing I knew at 18 what I knew now because I would have done things differently. But then I think again. If I hadn’t gone to school in the program I did, I wouldn’t have had professors, coworkers and friends who shaped me into the person I am today. I wouldn’t have encountered situations that shaped me- I learned I was not made to be an employee or work for someone. I learned I have more potential than I ever though. I learned that while I thought the way I think was bad my whole life because it’s ‘different’ was really actually one of my best qualities.

Did I waste those 4–5 years? Absolutely not.

I can think of one professor specifically who I thought the world of. Her wisdom, constructive criticism, support and knowledge really challenged me not only as a student and a teacher, but as a person. The day she told me I was a “poster child” for the program and that I was the most self-aware student she had ever worked with (in front of my whole class…) was inspiring. In my time with her, the program and my classmates I really began to understand myself and who I was and learned to celebrate everything good and bad about myself. This followed into my time as a preschool teacher of my own classroom for the next 14 months to follow. It was here, that I made my most drastic, life changing and important realizations about myself.

I don’t regret it for a second. Not even still paying it off. Why? Because everything has a price. Nothing in life comes free or easy.

Each person I’ve encountered has helped shaped me into who I am. Into a better person. I used to wish I tried harder to keep some people in my life. I also used to wish I let go of some people sooner or never let them in to begin with. But now looking back, they were in my life for a reason at that time. Even those that have hurt me. Doubted me. Laughed at me. Bullied me. They all gave me character.

I now thank them for the impact they had in my life. Whether they hurt me, challenged me, watched me fail, supported me, inspired me, liked me, hated me, etc I thank them. I would not be who I am today if it wasn’t for these people I’ve encountered over the years and the ones still in my life.

I am a better person today because I chose to make the best of of every person and every situation I’ve ever encountered.

This goes for situations and life events as well. There’s no point in regret, no point in wishing you had done something differently or wondering what might have been. The past is in the past. This is the present, the future awaits. The future is what we have control over. What separates the successful from others is what they make of the past in moving forward in the future.

If you use your past to grow stronger and inspire you to make the changes, decisions and action you need in order to create your own future, you will be much more successful than feeling sorry for yourself and your past.

The future is yours. Your story is yours. There is no wasted time if you have the courage to make the best of every situation and take control over your life.