What My Expat Experience Taught Me About Happiness
We all have those years we wish never happened. Those years that make us think, “Why me?”
For me that year was 2013.
I was having the most fun I had ever had at my job.
My children had just finished a successful school year.
And my youngest had just turned two, entering they joys of toddlerhood.
My husband’s job was also going well.
So well that he got offered a generous promotion.
Not only did it include a substantial pay bump but it also offered two all expensive-paid yearly vacations for the family, a car and an extra trip for the holidays.
Did I also mention a house allowance?
You probably read right through this by now. The catch is that we were moving.
Moving to the other side of the world.
After I finished hyperventilating, I realized this was an opportunity that could not be passed up.
Azerbaijan was never on my top places to visit. Honestly, I was not even very familiar with the country prior to our relocation.
Before I knew it, we bid farewell to America in August 2013 with our three dogs (there is no way I would have left them behind).
The first three months were extremely difficult.
My world turned upside down.
My world, as I knew it, no longer existed.
Forget the conveniences, the grocery stores, driving and the medical care I was accustomed to.
English was not as common as in Europe.
I quickly realized the true value of body language.
Everything that was going well for me in America was stripped from me, at least that’s what I thought back then.
Why couldn’t I be like the other expat wives and cherish the moment?
Why wasn’t shopping, cooking, eating out and going to the club something that I could bond with others over while our kids went to school?
Why can’t I just relax and enjoy doing nothing?
Who wouldn’t want to do nothing?!?
Well, not me. No matter how much I tried.
My days included taking care of our toddler while the others went to school.
Occasionally I was driven to the local market to purchase essentials for meal preparation.
I soon got used to the local offerings but I could never get used to the goats tied outside.
Waiting to be bought. And sadly, butchered.
Each day there was a new goat.
Each day I pondered letting it go free when nobody was looking.
Once my husband got back from work I immediately logged in to start my work day, working until midnight.
In all sincerity continuing to have my job was what saved my sanity.
I felt like an outcast.
All that I longed for was to be back in my element.
But fighting it was not going to get me anywhere.
We were here.
A gazillion miles away from my comfort zone.
It was time to either learn to live with it or create a way to live with it.
Giving up was not an option.
My fear of missing out was going into overdrive.
I knew that I would quickly spiral into a dark place if I did not find an outlet to continue learning.
Although our expat community was extremely warm and generous, I did not feel satisfied with being a stereotypical expat wife.
That is when I dug deeper into social media.
I’d been on Facebook religiously, a bit on LinkedIn and even meddled on Twitter every once in a while.
I had heard of Twitter chats but never really gave them a chance.
How fun could it be to answer questions online with a group of strangers? It sounded pretty boring and awkward.
Boy, was I wrong.
After a few months I was hooked.
I found so many incredible thought leaders around the topics that interested me, as well as people that I am now proud to call my friends and mentors.
Even though an ocean separated me and my comfort zone, I was able to find solace through an online world that had no boundaries.
Between social media and my business trips back to America, I was able to make it through almost a year overseas.
We moved back in May 2014 due to increasing family health issues, not to mention my beloved older Jack Russell terrier had recently turned blind and had been diagnosed with cancer.
Throughout it all I realized that money truly does not bring happiness.
We were offered many perks. I’ve had people say they wish they could have traded places with me.
But everything truly does happen for a reason.
For me this experience:
-Taught me that I was looking in the wrong places for happiness.
-Taught me that simplicity is beautiful.
-Taught me that there is always a way.
-Taught me that being happy with yourself brings happiness with you wherever you are.
-Taught me that health is priority. Without it, everything else is futile.
Looking back, I would not trade my expat experience for anything.
My children were exposed to a different culture, having classmates from all around the world.
We travelled to destinations we would have only dreamt of.
My dogs became world travelers. (How cool is that?)
I got to live in a country with amazing weather and seasons (something we don’t have in Texas).
The change forced me to look deeper inside myself, realizing that my discontent was more personal rather than environmental.
If I had not become more in tune with social media, I would have never started my #DareToBe Twitter chat (now on its third year).
Or even connected with the people that introduced me to Medium. (You wouldn’t even be reading this story right now.)
So next time fate hands you some cards that you weren’t expecting, just believe.
Believe in the opportunity that may be masked through a challenge.
Turn the “why me” into “this is why I was meant to be here, do this or have this happen.”
