Get Off Your Ass & Do Something — A Letter to My Kids
Dad 2.0: 9 years in the making
Hey kids,
Your mom and I just got home from our first Dad 2.0 summit after several years of me dragging my feet and I can honestly say it exceeded my expectations in every way. So many great people, inspiring stories, and new connections that I hope to build on for years to come. In fact, I was in awe of many of the people I met. Not because of anything magical that they did but because they were there. Building a community. Building their own brands and creative outlets, many of them for the 8 previous years of Dad 2.0 and then some. And I wished that I had been there all those years too.
But it took me too damn long to get there because I have been afraid of failure.
I started writing my first blog in about 2011 when you were 1 and 2. A friend of mine had been writing a “daddy blog” of his own for a couple of years and so I figured, hey I have kids, a fancy English degree, and think I’m hilarious so I should start one too. And it was great. I wrote and published stories on the internet and life was perfect. Er, I mean I wrote and published a few posts, wrote and didn’t publish a bunch more. Life got real lifey and I just quit. I quit posting. Mostly quit writing. I retreated into my shell where it was nice and cozy and no one could tell me my writing sucked.
I overthink, plan too far ahead, get lost in the details, and then…do nothing.
I traveled down that road for a while, life settled down a bit, and I eventually found my way back to writing. I wrote a couple different blogs with grandiose names like “All the Answers to Life” and “The Underachiever’s Guide to the Galaxy” (pretty proud of that one honestly) and life was perfect. Er, I mean I wrote a lot, posted some, and wished I wrote and posted more. And then retreated into my shell where it was nice and cozy and no one could tell me my writing sucked.
And that brings us to today.
I started this blog about 2 years ago with the intent of writing letters to and stories about you, my kids. I wanted you to be able to read it when you get a little older, to have something to remember me by when I’m gone, other than the contents of my sock drawer, and hopefully laugh and learn a little about life along the way. And because more than just about anything in my life, I love being your Dad and can talk about it and you endlessly. And sure, I wanted other people to read it because I like a little approval-induced dopamine shot as much as the next guy.
So after scouring my brain and the internet for weeks looking for the perfect name, I ended up with this one, which is a very dad-joke attempt to combine my love for REM and the aforementioned letter writing. Clever, I know. The only problem is that I spent weeks thinking of, writing down, and rethinking the name so it would be perfect instead of actually, you know, writing the stupid blog. Because that’s what I do. I overthink, plan too far ahead, get lost in the details, and then…do nothing.
But what Dad 2.0 reminded me of (it didn’t necessarily teach me, because I already knew it) is that there is no reason not to say the things you have to say, regardless of what the end game might be. I heard from dads (and some moms) this weekend who write or create YouTube videos or podcasts, because they have something to say. Sometimes those things become movements, like Squat for Change. And sometimes they just keep people connected or amused during this oft-challenging thing called life. But the actual doing of the thing is the rub. Not the talking or the thinking or the planning, because while important, those parts will never replace the thing itself.
Despite what you think or may have heard, there is never a perfect time. There is never a perfect name. There is never a perfect situation. There is only time, and there is increasingly less of it as you get older. Don’t sit around waiting for your time because it is a myth. And whatever you do, don’t not do something because of fear of rejection, or because you think people won’t like it.
Instead, find your thing and get to doing it. Don’t worry about whether anyone will like it because they probably won’t, especially not at first. And for the love of the old gods and the new, don’t waste time thinking of the perfect name for something because it doesn’t exist. Dave Grohl has famously said that if he thought Foo Fighters was going to be successful he would have thought of a better name. And they seem to be doing just fine, stupid name and all.
And if I teach you nothing else in this life just know that you are talented, smart, capable and have as much right to share your gifts with the world as anyone else. Don’t wait for the perfect time, or name, or opportunity to share those gifts or your ideas, because perfection doesn’t exist. Just get off your ass, do something you love, and show em what you got.
Love, Dad
About The Author
Daniel Batts is a dad, husband, writer, and retired amateur skateboarder.
Originally published at https://dadletteroffice.com on March 5, 2020.
