Why Your 14th Wedding Anniversary Should Matter, Even If It Doesn’t

Today is Hot Wife’s and my 14th wedding anniversary. Aww, thanks for the kind thoughts I assume you are sending us. Unless you are a jerk, which you very likely may be and in that case, I hope you get a paper cut.

So in commemoration of our 14th anniversary, I am going to share with you 14 things I have learned about marriage that will make your marriage and life much better.

Just kidding, I’m only going to give you one because nobody cares about 14th anniversaries. Seriously, if you Google “anniversary gifts” you get this long list of cool Traditional and Modern gift ideas for every anniversary except the 14th.

What is the gift for 14 years of hard fought wedded bliss? Gold jewelry. Really broke some brain cells on that one didn’t ya Hallmark?

I mean, they couldn’t even come up with a Traditional and a Modern gift. Just gold jewelry. Meh. They could have at least added a Modern gift of an Xbox or something.

Well, Hallmark and the world in general may not care about 14th anniversaries but I do. So much so that Hot Wife and I booked a babysitter weeks ago. And then…kinda forgot about it. Then we remembered it and realized we booked our kids for a church thing tonight and considered not going out for our anniversary. But then we decided to. And then I almost texted her today and told her I was going to work in the yard tonight because I have all this stupid mulch to lay and then before doing that my Guardian Angel, whom I have never officially met but I’m pretty sure is named Nathaniel and has a handlebar mustache and wears Vision Street Wear high tops, ironically of course, stopped me from sending that disastrous text.

So what is it about 14? I don’t know why it’s so inconsequential in the pantheon of anniversaries but it shouldn’t be. Anyone who has been married for 14 years or more has either gone through something that made them doubt their marriage would last this long, has actively attempted to not let their marriage last this long or is lying about it.

So I guess what I am trying to say is this: I am very happy to have been married to Hot Wife for 14 years. And although sometimes it has been hard or even downright shitty I am proud that we have made it to 14 years even if Hallmark doesn’t care about it. And if you have made it to 14 years, you should be proud too because it damn sure ain’t been easy I would guess.

And who knows, maybe if you put a little extra effort into making 14 special you’ll get lucky and she’ll get you an Xbox.

Originally published at dadletteroffice.com on September 6, 2017.