How can I deal with my nagging wife?
Nagging — the constant prodding — at one’s spouse is a common complaint in marriage. Typically, the husband complains that the wife keeps nagging him and the wife complains that he never does what he is supposed to do. This constant bickering only results in unhappiness, hurtand division. The solution lies in love and learning the art of how to deal with a nagging wife through right understanding.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan has given insight on how to deal with a nagging wife. Some excerpts of actual spiritual discourses with Him have been added below as they are.
Change your behavior
Have you ever asked yourself why your wife nags you? She nags you because she is hurt by your behavior. She should not get hurt. If she gets hurt, you have to do pratikraman. You should have in your mind that you have come to make her happy. You should be inquiring within, ‘What mistakes am I making that are making me hurt my wife?’ When you realize what you are doing wrong, you should make a constant effort to change your behavior so as not to hurt her.
Fulfill your role of a husband
In the office, you have to play the role of an employee and in the home, you have to play the role of a husband. You will have to act accordingly; the role of an employee, then the role of a husband to your wife; will you not have to know how to act? Otherwise, your wife will give you trouble. Is that not so? It is because you do not know how to deal with her; otherwise, she would not give you any trouble if you did. Your wife has not come to give you trouble; she has come to make a home for you. However, when one of you falls short in your role, the other party will start to nag. Yes, it is because you do not have the know-how therefore she nags you!
Tactfully tackle your nagging wife
Questioner: When we are driving, she tells me how to drive, where to take a turn, when to slow down, and when to apply the brakes. She is always nagging, “Drive this way, and drive that way.”
Dadashri: So leave the driving to her, then there will be no hassle.
Questioner: Then she’ll say she does not have the courage to drive.
Dadashri: Then ask her why she interferes with your driving. Ask her if your driving is hurting her in any way. Tell her that the only reason she gets away with her criticisms is because you are her husband. Ask her if she would criticize the chauffer the same way. She knows that if she did, he would tell her to be quiet or get out, putting her in a predicament.
Try It Out :
When your car is overheated, do you hit it with a stick or do you come up with ways to cool the radiator? Naturally, you find a way to cool the radiator by turning on the fan. In the same way, when your wife starts to nag you:
1) You must not retaliate.
2) You should change your conduct in such a manner that she has no reason to nag you in the first place.
3) You must conduct your interactions with your wife in such a manner that your love for each other does not decrease.
