True and Selfless Friendship in the Best Sense!!
It is said that when Sudama, Lord Krishna’s childhood friend, went to pay him a visit at Dwarka, all the way from Porbandar, he refused to ask for help…
Sudama was a poor Brahmin, who had made a vow that he would never beg for anything. He would make do with whatever he would earn on his own merit.
But there came a time when his circumstances became very bad, so much so that his family did not know how or wherefrom will their next meal come. On the insistence of his wife, Sudama agreed to undertake the journey to Dwarka, but with the firm resolve that he would not ask for help.
Lord Krishna was ecstatic when he saw his friend after so many years…
He invited Sudama into his home, duly offered him all the comforts of his palace, washed his feet, offered him silk garments to change into after a luxurious bath, and then served him Chhapan Bhog (a feast with 56 delicacies). He repeatedly asked about his friend’s well-being. But Sudama, in accordance with his vows, did not once mention how bad things were. Lord Krishna, however understood everything.
Sudama had brought with him a bagful of Tandul (a dish made of soaked rice), but was ashamed to offer such a thing to the Lord of Dwarka. Lord Krishna saw the bag hidden in the folds of his clothes, snatched it and with a thrill, decided that those rice would be his meal for the day. Sudama was confused, but he did not say anything. What he did not know was that for every grain that Lord Krishna ate, he paid back Sudama in loads of wealth, health and well-being.
Now that is true and selfless friendship!
Sudama, despite his circumstances, had no expectations from his friend, who could have easily solved all his problems. His only objective in travelling to Dwarka was simply to meet his friend. Lord Krishna in turn, respected Sudama’s vow, was careful not to embarrass him by making him ask for help, and yet helped him generously. Nor did he treat it as a favour — he was simply repaying the debt of the tandul. This is how friendships are maintained.
Param Pujya DadaBhagwan, an enlightened being has explained that true and selfless friendship has no expectations whatsoever. There is only true love. There is no change in the friendship, even if our friend behaves better or worse than usual. Where there is true love, one does not find faults in the other. If our friend seems to be going in the wrong direction, our job is to bring it to their attention ever so gently, and offer all the necessary assistance to get the friend back on the right track.
There is no ego between friends and one is always there for the other
Such friendships are rare to find and even more difficult to maintain. One needs to be willing to let go, to adjust, to not care for one’s own personal ego. A true friendship is always balanced — one is as important as the other. And the only way to maintain such a balance is to view the other person, not as a human being with faults, but as the pure Soul that one really is. Only then can we be able to overlook their weaknesses and focus on the good in them, leading to a lasting, happy friendship, which is true and selfless in the best sense!!
