DadLife: First time meeting your child
Until science figures out how to make the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie about dad’s birthing a child a reality, we as dads will never know what it feels like to actually birth a child. For that reason, I am calling this out right away in this article: Moms are incredible, superhuman individuals and thank you to moms everywhere for birthing children. Lauren’s birthing experience was intense with Nate. I’ll tackle that in another post with the goal of preparing soon-to-be dad’s everywhere for what to expect.
For this post, I want to share my experiences with meeting our little guy for the first time in the hospital. The reason why this experience is so important to share (in my opinion) is because there is a lot of blood, sweat, tears and long weekends at Buy Buy Baby that culminate with this incredible, euphoric moment.
To set the stage: Lauren had gone into active labor at 6:15pm on December 27th. Almost 18 hours and multiple epidurals (and boosters) later, Nate was born. It was the most intense experience I’ve ever been a part of and I was on the sidelines cheerleading. The mix of emotions, anxiety and lack of sleep in those 18 hours meant we were purely running on adrenaline. Again, as a dad, we can’t begin to appreciate the intensity of the moment for our significant others.
Once Nate was born, Lauren passed out from the exhaustion of the whole ordeal and the drug cocktail that she needed to make it through the ordeal. I was dehydrated, exhausted and overcome with emotions like I’ve never experienced.
This is the best way to describe the emotions I experienced at the moment Nate (all at once):
- Pure Exhaustion (result of standing for almost 18 hours with little water or food)
- Pure Happiness (what I imagine it would feel like if my all-time favorite hockey team (Toronto Maple Leafs) actually won the Stanley Cup…and I scored the winning goal and was also the captain of the team and it was my last game of an 18-year career having never won the Cup prior (yup. intense.)
- Unmatched Muscle Fatigue and Soreness (from being so nervous, unable to do anything to help Lauren for so long during labor. I imagine it would equate to going 12 rounds with Tyson or Ali in their hey day).
While trying to deal with all these emotions, I heard someone call my name from across the room. It was time for me to meet our son. Word of caution: walking even 10 feet across a hospital delivery room is treacherous when you are dehydrated, exhausted and overcome with emotion. I vaguely remember kissing Lauren on the forehead before starting my journey to the table with the heat lamp across the room where Nate was being attended to by the birthing team. Lane, the Dula (birthing coach) who was with us through the whole birthing process stayed with Lauren so I felt comfortable going to see Nate. (I’ll cover Dula’s in another post).
When I finally reached the other side of the room, the team of specialists that had checked Nate for every possible concern (due to the lengthy birthing process and US healthcare providers thoroughness) backed away from the table and for the first time I saw Nate. HOLY SHIT.
The emotions that ran through my head were unbelievable. I’m tearing up thinking about it right now. Yup, becoming a dad makes you soft. Embrace it.
It was at that moment where I realized my world had changed forever…and for the better (mostly) :-). Lane, our birthing coach, had actually followed me across the room (which I later learned was to make sure I didn’t faint, fall over and hurt myself). Lane took a photo (see below) of the exact moment I first met my son and I am forever thankful to her for doing this. It’s by far my favorite photo of the entire birthing experience and one that I can’t wait to embarrass Nate with at his Bar Mitzvah, Wedding and with his kids one day.
