A letter to self

I know I don’t tell you this often
Fearing our relationship might soften
I know you think I don’t love you at all
My fault, I try to hide behind the wall
When my world was crumbling around me
When there wasn’t anything worse I could be
I expected you to, like the rest, loathe my presence
Or show pity, turn around or even start second-guessing
But you stayed,
You had my back when they called me mad
You were the only fallback I had
I hated you for making questionable decisions
But we are one. You are, after all, my vision
We connected with souls, I showed them who you were
When they left, I regretted being so immature
I let you bleed, thinking that’s what you deserved
I let them get to you, while I just sat back and observed
But that changes now, for I know your value
I shouldn’t have left you, believe me, that won’t continue
You were my first friend, I hadn’t realized that until much recently
You are so beautiful, I’m sorry for ever thinking differently
I love you and I’ll say it again for all the world to hear
I’ll protect you and every one of your tears
You deserve every ounce of love you lost on the way
This time, I’ll stay