You’ll Never See Rainbows in Black & White
Many studies, the Kinsey Scale for example, suggest that most people are not absolutely heterosexual. Shocking? Maybe. We could either live in denial, or we could understand and learn to accept that sexuality is a spectrum and that a person identifying as bisexual doesn’t have to be equally attracted to more than one gender identity. Your sexuality is not a simple palette of black and white!
There’s always more than what meets the eye.
If you’re an active user of social media, you may be familiar with terms pertaining to bisexuality. Poly-sexual, hetero flexible, homo flexible just to name a few. But what does it actually mean? The umbrella term “bisexual” is used to describe a person who engages in romantic or sexual relationships with, more than one sex or gender.
While it is understandable that people look at the concept of loving more than one gender with disdain, it is quite disheartening to see the extent of their contempt. It reveals the depth to which heteronormativity is ingrained in our society.
It is safe to say that Indian media has shown limited, if any, support to the LGBTQIA+ community. Having grown up in a country like India with virtually no representation of anything remotely bisexual, I came to know of its existence only in high school. Western you-tubers, and their vlogs seem to have had a profound impact on the youth, especially gen Z! We’ve grown up watching mentally debilitating, ‘society-approved’ TV shows that, heaven forbid, portray anything apart from appropriate straight couples. This can make a bisexual individual feel isolated and ostracised. When one doesn’t fall under the ‘normal’ heteronormative mould set up, the person is treated differently, mostly as an ‘outsider’ or ‘misfit.
Can you think of any Indian celebrity who fights for bisexuality, let alone mentions it? Bollywood does show some representation, but it is usually pink washed because while Indian society seems to be coming to grips with the gay and lesbian community, the thought of loving more than one gender seems perturbing. The film Margarita With A Straw is a sole exception where the protagonist comes out explicitly as bisexual.
Velutha Rathrikal, a Malayalam film set in tribal Kerala is a wonderful movie which portrays bisexuality in a subtle and natural, but powerful way. The film revolves around a woman who eventually chooses the woman she loves over the man who has just professed his love for her. Apart from these few gems, Indian cinema tends to make bisexuality seem like desperation or indecisiveness.
But this wasn’t the case in pre colonised India! In the 1820s, poets like Insha and Rangin openly wrote about male-male, female-female and male-female relationships, all in the same tones. Surprisingly, the Western world wasn’t quite as open minded. By the 1920s, British censorship began treacherously changing the pronouns of Indian art, right before publication. Contrary to popular belief, it was Western civilization that affected the way propriety was viewed and almost an entire century later, we remain submerged in this dismal present of denial, reluctant to see the light.
The law has also been discriminating ever since the period of colonization. Not only did the British introduce the anti-sodomy law, they also took over the reins of the Indian education system, instilling their own beliefs of an ‘ideal’ society, disregarding the culture of the country that they had invaded. They brought with them a stigma towards discussion of such ‘sordid’ topics in society.
With growing awareness about various identities and sexualities, you might assume that the world is ready to welcome you with open hands. A historic judgement was passed in 2018 by the Supreme Court of India which decriminalized Section 377 of Indian Penal Code — that consensual adult gay sex is not a crime — taking a huge step towards justice for the LGBTQ+ community. Despite this progress, today, one would still have to tackle the mindset of people who will continue to condescendingly view bisexuality as a means to engage in a little “experimentation”.
There are a lot of crusaders for homosexuality in India but how many bisexuals do you actually know who are fighting for their rights? Even after the Supreme Court striking down Section 377, the conversation around bisexuality hasn’t become mainstream or normalised. The main reason for this is that most people feel bisexuality is just a pitstop or a phase that slowly but surely leads to homosexuality. Being bisexual still means being a minority within a minority. It takes a lot of time for people to come to terms with their bisexuality, mostly because of the taboo surrounding it and how the people around them view it. This is how bi-erasure came into play. And despite increasing awareness among the youth, bisexuality continues to be a non-existent identity for most people!
It is assumed that bisexuality doesn’t require an elaborate coming out process that is so integral to the gay and lesbian community, or even the support structure of activists. Most gay people are apprehensive to get involved with bisexuals as they think they are not serious about their sexuality. Fetishizing bi women, assuming that all bisexuals are polyamorous are a few examples of normalized homophobia.
“Bisexual people are up to six times more likely to engage in non-suicidal self-injury compared to other sexual orientations” — Study by University of Manchester.
Seeking professional help to improve mental wellness is still a topic of taboo in India. This lack of help and social stigma leads to internalized homophobia. Many members of the bi community do not actively participate in help-groups or services provided for LGBTQ+ community because the feelings of ‘not belonging’ still exists. How can you as an ally help? Allies can help by hosting bi-specific events (though some might view this as unfairly excluding other members of the LGBTQ+ community) to provide much needed acceptance.
India is an evolving country and we’ve come a long way to openly discuss the idea of bisexuality. One day we won’t have to “come out of the closet”, we can just proclaim that we’re in love and that will be all that matters.
