Story: Balance

Backstory

So, it was thanksgiving of last year when I was contemplating what I was thankful for. The gregorian calendar date once a year, where family and friends sit on every end of the glass dinner table. At the table this year, we had Cedric the french drummer, his wife the Australian hot head, and the lawyer whose rotund belly pops out against his jet black suspenders. On the other end of the table, my younger brother with his raver gloves, the journalist from Jersey and well at this point I can’t remember.

Then to everyone’s attention, there was the entertainer. She stood out, not because she was tall, blonde and beautiful although it’s true. It was more about her smile and joy when she talked about what she did. The spark of someone who is recognized by thousands maybe millions for being amazing. Envy settled in at this moment because at this point my career, I’ve lived exclusively behind the computer screen or company entity. As she began to talk about her wild adventures, all the noise of chatter began to drown out and I was left with internal echo from a previous conversation.

At this stage of my professional LinkedIn life, my current job went through many transitions from customer service representative, graphic designer, QA personal, photographer, and event organizer. It’s the startup life, you just wear a bunch of different hats and ask questions later.

My boss and I stood in a small kitchen in Dallas, TX of an apartment at that time, Boosterfuels headquarters. He asked me intently, “ Dahlia, what is it that you want to do? At the end of the day, you need to play to your strengths.”

Strengths

The Myers Briggs test would read, “loud, engaging, no filter and well pretty damn good at Improv.” Whilst she smiled and talked about her accomplishments, I made the decision right then and there to take the plunge into acting. Barring all of yourself for the world to see for the rest of my life. I had no idea that my car mileage would hit 1,000 at least every month driving from audition to audition, but that’s a strength in numbers. I would say, “I’m pretty damn good at Improv” because, well, Ford Automotive thinks so too. Without ruining the element of surprise and with the luck of the irish, I’m now SAG-Eligible due to driving my prius driving skills and my tenancity behind the wheel of the new Ford hybrids.

Weaknesses

What makes me afraid at times, is there is no running away and hiding behind the computer screen unless it’s because I want to.

Without further adieu, I bring to you a poem about finding a balance.

Pendulum

Written: 6.06. 2016

You are the catalyst of your own demise, the envisioner of setbacks, control board of disregard for the rest of the world when you want to relax.

Inside, where no one can see, where the doves battle the rats, the cloaked speaker tells you when to run and where to hide. You’ve been aware of this whole time.

He’s been holding the pendulum, swinging between the odds. The possibilities of what if’s and shall I dare. If I say it this way, will they really care. The tundra of no pause, your foot is on the pedal and you can’t backstroke for there is no water.

Dry sands of the high desert, you stand on the tightrope and pray for the odds to be forever in your favor. Equilibrium between what they said about you and are you really numb now. Knock twice if you want the door to open because I’ve had enough of hoping.

One end, check the books, and if you can’t make due this month blame it on the rooks. The other, I’ve made my choice to enjoy who I see on the other end of this mirror.

White shoes, black pants, I’ve put all chips on taking a chance.

Inspiration: Michael Jackson — Stranger in Moscow

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