How To Best ServeYour Cat
Looking After the King or Queen in Your Life
“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days” ~ Bill Dana
I am your leader.
Bow down and serve me.
Grovel at my feet.
Stroke me. Pat me. Hold me.
But only when I tell you to do so. Not a minute before.
Open the door for me. No, close it again. Now, open it. Aaagh — that’s better. Now, I think I will go out. Maybe? Or, maybe I will stop halfway and sit in the middle of the doorway. No, don’t push me with your toes — don’t you dare. What????? WTF…….Hmmm — now I won’t talk to you for the rest of the day.
I will go and sit under my bush. Facing away from you. I will not look at you. Don’t talk to me. I won’t answer. You better have bought that special can of tuna for me tonight if you want me to forgive you?
Yes, now that is more like it. I will eat it all up slowly and savor every mouthful. I will pick some up and eat it over on the carpet. Slowly. You will frown but you won’t tell me no.
No, I won’t come and sit on your lap. I jump on you in the middle of the night and sit on your chest. I loudly purr. I fall asleep on your chest. Yes, don’t move. Stay still. I know you won’t move or sleep for another two hours because you don’t want to upset me again by disturbing me whilst I am perched on your chest.
I know you talk to your co-workers and say you secretly believe I woke you and slept on you deliberately as I held a grudge for you pushing me with your foot through the door earlier that day.
Yes, I do know this, and yes I do hold a grudge.
But, you are never entirely sure, and I know you want me to love you again, and rub my nose all over your leg, and climb on your lap, and pat your face with my paw and meow to you…. so you will do what I want…..yes you will ….purr purr purr…now, that’s better.
“The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer” ~ Paula Poundstone
Cats Know They Are Gods
Unlike dogs who have been domesticated by humans for well over 20,000 years, cats are relatively new to their symbiotic relationship with humans coming in at a little over 10–12,000 years ago. Therefore dogs have had more time from an evolutionary viewpoint to adapt to humans and to see humans as more godlike while cats are still quite disdainful and insular, often appearing to roll their eyes and yawn when their human walks in a room.
“When addressed, a Gentleman Cat does not move a muscle. He looks as if he hasn’t heard” ~ May Sarton
The feline and human relationship appear to have commenced about the time that agriculture emerged and humans started to stay in one place and cultivate grain. Vast stores of grain attracted rodents. Wildcats kill rodents.
Over the years humans would select cats to remain near the grain stores that were more friendly to them plus were good killers of vermin. So, with selective breeding, we have domesticated cats who are affectionate but also good killers who love nothing better still than to dump a headless rat on your doorstep at particular times.
When A Cat Speaks
“When your cat rubs the side of its face along your leg, it’s affectionately marking you with its scent, identifying you as its private property, saying, in effect, ‘You belong to me’ ~ Susan McDonough
A 2013 study indicated that cats could identify their owner’s voice from a stranger nearly all of the time.
Cats do show love and affection for their owners by climbing on their laps for cuddles, rubbing their face on their human and vocalizing and purring.
Patting a cat back reinforces the bond between you especially when they are showing affection.
Kittens meow at the mother cat to tell it when it is hungry, cold, or scared. But, once adults cats no longer meow at each other. They will yowl — typically at each other during breeding season.
But, this is the interesting part — cats only meow at humans.
So, when your cat is meowing at you, it is trying to communicate with you. Cats meow to say they are hungry, cold, lonely, to greet you, to ask to be let in or out and for any number of reasons. Cats learned to meow at humans as they realized it got humans to do things for them. Some breeds of cats vocalize more than others. Cats will also ‘chirp’ or ‘trill’ usually at their kittens to get them to follow them. They also may do this to you to lead you to their food bowl.
Cats Are Always Themselves
If a cat is staying with you, it is because it chooses to do so.
Some studies have shown no sign of separation anxiety in cats left at home while their owners went to work (unlike dogs). However, just because anxiety wasn’t present in these controlled studies does not mean cats do not feel affection for their owners.
As I wrote in a previous story for Medium, my cat Isis shook and trembled for half an hour after he came home when he had to stay in a cat shelter for a few weeks when I once moved house, and he couldn’t come with me immediately.
“Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible” ~ Roger Caras
Cats Know Who They Are & Who We Are
A 2005 study found that cats can tell their owners by facial recognition alone about 54% of the time, but they can identify other cats by facial features over 90% of the time.
However, cats don’t just use facial recognition to recognize their human owners. They also use sight, sound, smell, and movement.
Not primarily using facial recognition makes sense from an evolutionary perspective as cats came into a symbiotic relationship with humans to hunt rodents. They did not have the same need as dogs to learn to read humans facial expressions and movements.
They do however know their owners voice from other humans. A 2013 study from Tokyo found that cats could identify their owner’s voice nearly all the time. However, none of the cats got up from napping to find their owner.
No cat will give up good napping time to look for a human!
So, yes your cat knows who you are when you come home from work, and they run up to greet you.
Studies have shown that a cat’s longterm memory can be up to 200 times longer than a dog’s, but cats are very selective about what they choose to remember. They remember what is useful for them. About short-term memory, dogs have been found to be about five minutes whereas a cat is up to 16 hours.
“As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind” ~ Cleveland Amory
Due to their excellent memories, cats can remember family members who go away and then return other animal companions; they can grieve for other pets, family members or other losses and they also can keep grudges.
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference” ~ Charlotte Gray
Why do cats get lost if they have such good memories? A cat’s rehoming instinct needs time to reset if you move house. It can take a few weeks for this to happen which is why vets often recommend you keep them inside for about three weeks when you first move.
Some studies have indicated that cats (besides a good memory) also have a rehoming instinct like pigeons which enable them to find their way back home. There is some evidence to suggest they may have the ability to sense the magnetic fields of the earth which helps them orient.
There is the beautiful story of a cat in Australia who traveled over 1000 miles across the outback to make his way home.
There is also the story of the refugee cat Kunkush, who got on a boat to Greece with his family fleeing the war in Iraq and then got separated from them. Months later after searching for his family, eventually located in Norway, an initial skype call reunited the cat and his family. Despite everything the cat remembered them and recognized their voices.
Cats and Sleep
“The trouble with sharing one’s bed with cats is that they’d rather sleep on you than beside you” ~ Pam Brown
Cats often sleep ON their human as they seek the warmth or padded comfort of your body. Cats are vulnerable when sleeping so they will choose a human they trust to sleep with or choose a place they feel safe to sleep.
Cats can sleep up to 20 hours a day.
They are most active between dusk and dawn.
They can catnap (with one eye half open ready to spring into action) which lasts about 15–30 minutes and then have episodes of deep sleep lasting about 15 minutes. They dream in the deep REM stage of sleep. They alternate consistently between these light and deeper stages of rest for between 14 to 20 hours.
They enjoy sleeping high up or in enclosed spaces where they can feel safe or survey the world. As cats are predators, they are hardwired to chase, hunt, and stalk. They, therefore, sleep to conserve energy. Cats are also affected by the weather and will often sleep longer on cold or wet, rainy days.
Tucking their paws or a tail around their face helps to keep their nose warm when resting or sleeping.
A cat ‘loafing’ — where they tuck their paws underneath them when resting or sleeping (thereby looking like a loaf of bread) is a sign they feel secure. They are not ‘on alert’ ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.
A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just to see him.
— William Lyon Phelps
Cats can often wake their owners by tapping them on their face with their paws. Tapping of paws is a sign of affection and also a sign that your cat wants some attention.
Why Does My Cat Sit/Sleep On My Head?
Some cats sleep on their owner’s heads or around their necks.
Cats are very scent orientated, and the warmth from a person’s head and hair can make their smell most potent in this area of their body.
Your cat also probably finds it a warm place, and he would feel secure next to you as a safe person.
Cats also like sitting up in high areas. A human’s head is as good a place as any.
Cats have a higher internal body temperature than humans between 100.5 and 102.4°F, and it can be harder for them to maintain this while sleeping. A humans head often exudes a lot of warmth as we lose heat through our head which helps a cat draped around our head keep their body temperature.
Cats and Small Spaces/Boxes
Cats love getting into confined spaces and climbing into boxes.
Hiding in confined spaces is an instinctual behavior. In the wild climbing into small confined spaces allows cats to hide and also hunt and not have prey spot them or see them.
Hiding in an enclosed space means a cat cannot have a predator approach them from behind or the side, which helps them feel safe. If they see something that catches their eye, they can dash out and grab it and immediately go back into the safety of the box.
Cats have flexible spines that allow them to curl up in tiny spaces. Why do they do this? It appears to be — because they can! Sleeping in small areas will enable them to conserve body heat as well as protect them from being seen by predators.
Cats and Food
Cats do not have the same amount of taste buds as humans do so they rarely use taste as an indicator when choosing their food.
Instead, they use their sense of smell. The cat usually will sniff the food first before deciding whether or not to eat.
Cats will sniff because they have 45–80 million olfactory receptors whereas humans have only 5–15 million. Cats favor smell over everything else when choosing whether or not to eat a meal and so choosing a meal with a strong meaty appealing aroma is best.
Cats also are fussy about the texture of the food they like in their mouth. What texture they prefer is individual to each cat (and they can change their minds). Some breeds find certain foods harder to grasp because of their short muzzles (like Persians), so this can influence their preferences.
The ratio of protein, fat, and carbohydrate in your cat’s meal will affect how your cat feels afterward. This sensation will influence whether or not your cat will be drawn to eat that particular meal in the future. The post food sensation will drive your cat’s future choices.
If you are unsure over what your cat prefers you could experiment to find out. You could give a one-off choice between a jelly, gravy or loaf textured wet food. Watch. See what food the cat eats out of the three. With dry foods, you could experiment with a range of different aromas, textures, and nutrients to see which ones your cat may prefer.
But be warned. Cats can frequently change their mind after happily eating food for a while. Be aware that cats are curious creatures and also like some variety.
“Dogs eat. Cats dine“ ~ Ann Taylor
Cats and Cars
You may notice in wintertime especially that your cat loves to sleep on top of the car bonnet especially after you have just arrived home from somewhere. They sleep on the hood because the engine has warmed it up and it is a high and a relatively safe and warm place for them to rest.
Some cats may get in the habit of climbing under the bonnet and into the engine bay. Climbing in this space is a lot more dangerous if you don’t realize they are there as they could be injured when you start driving again or be driven away and then got lost if they get out somewhere far from home.
Cats and Computer/Piano Keyboards
Cats will walk across your computer keyboard and discover magical combinations of keyboard shortcuts you never knew about, and that will then take you hours to figure out how to undo them.
They will sit on your keyboard when you are trying to type and will curl up and want to sleep; they demand attention, they want strokes.
Cats love keyboards as they like things that move and make sounds. It is also soft and gives under their paws, and it gets your attention.
Why Humans Love Cats
“If purring could be encapsulated, it’d be the most powerful anti-depressant on the pharmaceutical market” ~Alexis F. Hope
Cats can choose a favorite human in a household. Often it is someone who makes them feel secure or who provides the best scratching, or pats.
Cats are great observers of people and know whose laps are the best for cuddles, and who is the one who is most likely to give them their early morning feeds.
Cats are not a pack animal. They don’t need other cats to feel safe or help them survive. They are perfectly fine solitary.
In the same way, cats do not NEED their owners. They choose to stay with a human for their benefit. Cats will not stay in a home that is an unhappy place for them. They will walk out.
There is evidence to suggest that pet grooming (stroking a dog or cat) harks back to our evolutionary roots, where grooming behaviors were a natural part of our lives.
Stroking a dog or pet releases feel-good hormones and is a very primal thing to do.
In primate societies grooming is the primary glue that holds them together. As humans (also primates) we now have other ways of socializing but instinctively stroking a hairy animal satisfies something deep within our brains.
Why Do Cat’s Knock Things Over?
A cat’s instinct is to practice being a good hunter. Cats toy with their prey. Touching something small with their paw and seeing if it moves or runs away is an instinct. Cats will push items off shelves including small ornaments to see if they will move.
“Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf” ~ Charlotte Gray
Cats are intelligent, so they will figure out pretty quickly that ornaments are not prey. But if they notice that humans react or give them attention when they do this, it can be attention seeking behavior especially if a meal is due.
How do you stop cats pushing things over? One suggestion is to give them other things to do. Provide them with other interesting toys and activities.
Cats and Grooming
Cats will spend up to 20–50% of their awake time grooming themselves.
The cats naturally rough tongue and saliva remove grime from their fur.
On a hot day, a cat distributing saliva over their body also helps them to keep cool.
“If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up” ~ J.A. McIntosh
Grooming can be a self-soothing behavior that shows that a cat is calm and happy, but it also can be a way for a cat to manage a stressor as the cat grooms to calm itself.
Cats concentrate on grooming their face and paws to keep the area around their whiskers clean which is essential as a cat’s sense of smell and whiskers help them get a ‘feel’ of their environment.
Cats have long stiff hairs as whiskers around their mouth, above their eyes, near their ears, and their forelegs. These long hairs have nerve endings at the root. They help a cat ‘see’ in the dark if these hairs brush up against something a cat can tell the location, size, and texture of the object and even changes in air current which could detect danger coming towards them.
Why Do Cats Have Rough Tongues?
Cats tongues have backward facing spines on them called filiform papillae which is why it feels like sandpaper on your skin when they lick you.
This sharp tongue helps them when grooming to clean their fur. But, more importantly, as solitary hunters, it also helps to remove their scent from their hair, so they are less likely to be located by other predators and killed. Their ridged tongue also helps them hold prey in their mouth.
The downside to backward facing barbs is that cats are prone to swallow anything caught on their tongues which is how cats can end up with hairballs.
Cats use their tongue interestingly and elaborately to help them drink water. They lap at an impressive four times in a second. It is very different to how dogs drink. It may be that cats evolved to drink like this so that they can drink even when coming across a tiny body of water. According to Pet Physics, The Uncanny Lapping of Cats:
“First, they move the tip of their tongue onto the surface of the water to flick the water up so that a little jet of liquid flies into the air. Then, in a flash, they catch the jet in their mouth”.
Some cats may prefer to dunk their paws into the water and lick the water off them which seems to be a matter of personal preference.
Most cat people are also familiar with cats placing their whole heads into a glass or cup to drink their human’s drink! When cats were wild, they would instinctually drag their food away from the water so other animals coming to drink wouldn’t eat their kill.
Cats often do not like to drink water near their food, because of this instinct. So, drinking water from their human’s cat is an imitation of this behavior.
Some cats also get into the habit of drinking water from the toilet. Maybe try placing a water bowl away from their food source if you want to try and break this habit.
“I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like: How did my mother know that?” ~ Wendy Liebman
Cats also use their tongues to groom each other socially.
They lick their kittens to keep them clean and also to stimulate them to poop. Kittens under three weeks old need stimulation before they can poop or urinate.
In Summary — What Have You Learnt About Looking After Your Cat
Cats train us, humans, not the other way around.
They train you to open doors for them and let them in and out of the house.
They remember us; they do get attached to their humans but more in a symbiotic way of what we can do for them. They are a solitary hunting animal not dependant on the pack for survival, so they choose to live with us. They can walk away if they want.
They choose to sometimes sleep with us for comfort and because they want to use our body heat and feel secure. Cats like us to show affection to them, petting and grooming them, feeding them, providing them with a soft bed, letting them sleep in warm, safe places including the bonnet of our car.
We need to be mindful of what food we give them as their sense of smell more is more critical than taste — cats like us to provide them with a clean source of drinking water away from their food.
We need to allow them plenty of time to groom and plenty of time to sleep.
They like us to let them push things over or else provide toys for them to simulate stalking and hunting. Be prepared that they will demand your attention away from keyboards etc., and they also want boxes and plenty of places to hide.
Remember, that they do hold a grudge, and they do understand everything we say to them. They have amazing short-term and long-term memories.
If you move house do allow them to reorient for at least three weeks before letting them out, so they don’t get lost and can find their way home.
Remember if you have the privilege of a cat choosing you as their servant, you will be enriched beyond measure in the service and your cat will bestow upon you just enough affection to keep you on your toes, and withhold just enough to make you keep coming back for more.
Enjoy — and do keep opening and shutting that door for them.
