Creatives: How to Show Fiery Courage When Criticized
Fiercely Defending Your Creative Childlike Self
It takes a great deal of courage to be a creative person who publicly is making a living from their craft.
It takes even more courage to put yourself out into the public arena and put a price on your art.
You invite all sorts of criticisms.
The sort that I have found to be the most astounding and unexpected has come from fellow creatives.
Unfortunately, seeing someone else actually making money from putting their art ‘out there’ arouses all sorts of jealousies and insecurities in other people. You suddenly and unexpectedly find yourself becoming the target of petty criticisms targeted in your direction.
I self-published a memoir (under a pseudonym) in 2014.
I will give my analysis of some of the criticisms I encountered as a self-published author and artist. I hope it will help you navigate the situation if you have ever found yourself on the receiving end of such advice/critiques.
At the time I received the comments I remained polite and professional.
Criticisms of Book
“Your book has only done well as it is about a popular subject.”
This particular opinion was from the President of a local writer’s club — after hearing my book had won two awards in its first year of self-publication; had hit the best seller list on Amazon in one of its categories a number of times; been sold or downloaded over 60,000 times; and made the 2014 Indiebooks most reviewed 100 self-published books.
My response at the time was silence. I figured my book was speaking for itself and I certainly didn’t need her approval.
My Analysis
- I invested $5000 in marketing in the first year after I self-published the book.
- I invested over $2000 in professional editing and nearly $500 into getting a professional book cover designed by an artist before publication.
- I spent countless hours promoting it on both free sites and paid sites to get it in front of an audience interested in that genre.
- There are hundreds of other books on the same subject (personal experiences of leaving a fundamentalist religion or cult) and most had never hit the best seller list or sold the number that mine had.
It was hard work, money, and an investment of time and research that went into my very moderate success with my memoir.
I certainly didn’t deserve such a belittling and demeaning response.
”Being published by one of the Top 5 is more prestigious and beneficial for a writer than self-publishing.”
Again this was a comment stated by some members within a local writing group. It was not directed at me but overheard in the company of many self-published writers enough times that it was uncomfortable.
The Top 5 Publishing Companies are considered to be Hachette, HarperCollins, Macmillan, Penguin Random House, and Simon & Schuster in the USA.
- It is more prestigious to say that one of the largest publishing companies has accepted your manuscript to publish.
- It is also a recognition of your writing and yourself as an author that out of the thousands of submissions — your manuscript was chosen by them.
If you don’t want to spend time marketing or promoting your book and are willing to wait for the amount of time it may take for your manuscript to be taken up by one of them — then this may be the way for you.
But good luck with that. Your manuscript is one of the thousands submitted every week and may sit in a slush pile for years before being looked at, if at all.
Many writers are now choosing to self publish their books.
The Reasons
- More autonomy.
- To have greater control over the editing process and retaining their voice.
- They are in control of marketing. Unfortunately, many writers think that if one of the top publishing companies take on their book that they will handle all the marketing of it. Unfortunately, most do very little to market a book, and the author is still expected to assist.
- The author is the LAST person to receive any money from their book. The publishing company takes the most significant cut.
Unless your book becomes a best seller, you will struggle to earn a living even if your book is published by one of the Big 5.
My Analysis
Grrrrrr. I fail to see the benefits or even the point of saying this comment to a self-published author. The comment appears to be a ‘put-down.’
However, I believe it is true that there is more prestige if you got an offer to publish your book through one of the Big 5.
They also do look after a lot of the details that when you self publish you have to learn and do for yourself. I would never say no if one of them approached me and offered to publish a manuscript I had submitted. It adds credence and some level of authority and legitimacy to yourself as an author to have your writing recognized in this way.
But I do take exception to the belief that you can earn more money by having your book published by a publishing company.
The author is the last person to get a cut for their efforts.
You can make more money (unless you are very well known or your book consistently becomes a best seller) from self-publishing if you spend a bit of time learning about marketing and promotion.
By putting your book into competitions and also making it available for free download your book is read by tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands of people. If your motive is exposure, and to get your writing read by a large audience there is a lot of opportunities for self-published authors to make this happen for their book.
Criticisms of Artists
“I only paint for the love of it not to sell and make money.”
I only received this comment once, but it was from someone listening to me respond with thanks to someone else who had recognized me as having just sold a recent work they had seen and liked on my Facebook business page.
I responded to it by saying, “I wish I could afford the luxury of keeping or giving away all my paintings, but I can’t.”
I feel by my reply to this comment I politely squashed the implied criticism that there was some greater prestige in only painting for the ‘love of it.’
My Analysis
People who make their art publicly available for sale are brave. It takes courage to put your work out in public with a price tag on it.
People who never wish to sell their art — plenty do not — have no greater worth as an artist than people who make their art available to buy.
Both are equally worthy. None are better than the other.
In many ways, the comment is a way for the artist, to make themselves feel better for not being brave enough to do the same thing.
Criticizing others and bringing others down to build yourself up is never a worthy way to build self-esteem.
If the sole intent on making artwork is making money — this will be reflected.
I do not believe that making something for the sole purpose of making money is the right intention when being creative.
But, that being said people make their living creatively every day by making things that sell and not necessarily making what they want to make. I do not feel I have the right to criticize them if they choose to do this.
Another doozy is this comment after hearing you have sold a painting “Oh, did a friend or family member buy it?”
In other words, questioning who the buyer was, as if only friends or family would buy your work, meaning they must be doing it to be kind to you and are biased, not that your artwork is good enough to be purchased by a stranger.
This one is quite subtle and often said in an enquiring and kind voice.
Why would you even ask that? Why do you want to know if family or friends bought it? Why not ask, did a stranger buy it? What difference does it make?
If the difference is that you think it makes the piece worth more if a stranger bought it, then why ask in the first place?
My response is usually to assume that the person asking did not INTEND to be insulting and didn’t realize the question of and in itself was, so I say, “No, I don’t know the person who bought it. But, I am thrilled that it is going to someone who loves it enough to want it in their home.”
“I don’t paint for the money.”
My motivations are many. But money is also not the main one. At all.
How dare you insinuate that offering paintings for sale somehow diminishes my art, makes it ‘dirty’ or ‘less pure’ than someone who only paints for pleasure.
It is bloody scary to put your work out there.
It’s awful having anxiety that makes you sick to your stomach as you ‘wait’ to see if people criticize your pricing, the quality of your painting, or your AUDACITY for daring actually to charge for something handmade and creative you have done.
But you know what. It hasn’t happened yet. Not one person in the public arena has publicly dished me or put me down.
It is only fellow creatives who have used underhanded passive-aggressive tactics to try and activate doubt, insecurity and make me feel bad for just trying to make a living out of something I recently discovered I passionately love.
If you haven’t the courage to do it yourself, then don’t criticize or put down those who are trying to do so.
You should be the first on the cheerleading squad, the first to offer encouragement, constructive feedback or help for the myriad of ‘stupid’ questions swimming around in my head. Instead, you make it harder.
“I have painted my whole life but still don’t feel I am QUALIFIED enough or GOOD enough to sell my paintings.”
This comment was again said by someone, who had just criticized (unsolicited) one of my paintings for what she said was a technique not being ‘accurate’ despite the fact it had sold. She said she had painted over 20 years.
My response was measured:
“Actually not having learned RULES and TECHNIQUES goes in my favor, as I am not aware that I am breaking the rules, and I am free to be me. Others obviously like it also as they are willing to buy it. I am not interested in painting by rules anyway”.
Because I am not.
How many artists and writers gave up when they went to university?
They were devastated by the critiques and criticism by lecturers and other students who gutted their work and their offerings and lost all their confidence.
I have lost count of the number of books, and blogs I have read where people who loved art as children and did courses at high school and university, stopped all their art or writing for decades before returning to it later in life, due to criticism and being told they were not good enough.
How incredibly sad. What an incredible waste of so much talent and passion.
All because some people feel it’s okay to put down others for at least trying to do what they only dream of doing but don’t because of their fears and insecurities.
How DARE they? WHO do they think they are? WHY are they doing this to fellow creatives?
Julia Cameron wrote her whole book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity to help artists deal with their inner critic and OUTER critics.
In her book, she describes other people who criticize your art as people to AVOID at all costs when you are making the first tentative steps to grow your creative self. They are ‘suppressed creative’s whose own unlived dreams of a creative life activate by seeing anyone else trying to do so, and they are POISON to anyone trying to make a start at living a creative life.
Her advice is to avoid them like the plague regardless if they are family or friends. Do NOT share anything of your creative journey with them. They will suck you dry and destroy you. That is their aim. They do not want you to succeed.
She describes our creative selves as little children inside of us that need protecting and nourishing by our adult selves.
She advises to do daily morning writings for 12 weeks to dialogue with our creative selves and become aware of all our fears and hangups holding us back so our adult selves can address these and comfort and aid us in pressing forward.
Writers Clubs, Artist Clubs/Groups, Workshops
Stephen King, in his book On Writing, gives a warning about attending workshops:
“And what about those [writers’ workshop] critiques, by the way? How valuable are they? Not very, in my experience, sorry. A lot of them are maddeningly vague. I love the feeling of Peter’s story,someone may say. It had something… a sense of I don’t know… there’s a loving kind of you know… I can’t exactly describe it….
It seems to occur to few of the attendees that if you have a feeling you just can’t describe, you might just be, I don’t know, kind of like, my sense of it is, maybe in the wrong fucking class.”~ Stephen King
But his advice could equally apply to artists clubs also or any other creative club.
Often, those who run them have a vested interest in promoting themselves and can suppress or be very critical of those they see as a ‘threat’ to them.
You would think these would be the best places to get encouragement but not always. However, usually, the ‘inner circle’ is carefully cultivated to only include those that the organizers wish to promote the most and ignore everyone else.
Often you see ones with enormous talent, criticized continuously, and their work verbally torn to shreds, so they NEVER publish, never put forward their work, while the organizers promote those far less talented. It is SO sad.
I have seen people who could have gone far, lose all confidence, and be forever acquiescing to people they see as creative ‘authorities’ who are only power bullies keeping them down.
So sad. It is for this reason, I now usually avoid most groups.
So what is my advice to you?
You have to have the courage of a lion.
You have to develop a thick skin.
People WILL criticize you.
Often criticism will come from sources you least expect.
Do you need to look at what their motive might be?
Ask yourself these questions:
Are they making a living from their art? If not, why not?
Could they feel threatened by you?
Have they suppressed themselves as creatives and are they being a wet blanket as Julia Cameron says?
Could they be plain old jealous?
Is what they are saying KIND?
Is it necessary? Is it helpful?
Does it leave you feeling depleted? Angry? On the defensive?
If so, then you probably are best to avoid those people altogether in the future.
Find those who are willing to share their knowledge and passion with you. Who are kind and willing to give constructive feedback if you ask for it. Who are genuinely happy to see you doing well and are not afraid to show it. Seek out people who want you to do well.
They are out there.
I am grateful for those I have found and treasure these helpful people dearly.
You are COURAGEOUS and BRAVE for putting your heart on the line and yourself out there.
Ask yourself: Is what people around you saying aligned with any of the comments I have analyzed above?
If so:-
“F**k Off” to them said quietly in your head is a suitable response.
It will empower you.
It will help you put the comment and the critics in their place.
A polite smile and walking away can be a suitable real-world response.
You do not owe anyone an explanation in response to a put-down comment they make. No matter if you think they ‘meant well’ or ‘didn’t mean any harm.’
Just walk away.
Go and look after your creative self child.
Do something nice for them. Get your adult you to let your inner child say what she/he wanted to speak to the person out loud. Let them rant and rave and swear or write it all down if that’s easier for you (and you don’t want the neighbors hearing).
But PROTECT yourself. LOOK after yourself. YOU deserve it.
- You DON’T have to be the best writer that ever existed. Not even intermediate. You are GOOD ENOUGH. You will grow and develop as you write and as you learn more about writing.
- You DON’T have to be the BEST painter that ever painted. You are GOOD enough. You will grow and change over the years.
- You are NOT arrogant for putting your work out in the public arena.
- You are not SELLING OUT your arts value by putting a price on it. How dare you create for MONEY!!!!!!!
Your motivation for being creative is yours alone, and if you wish to articulate that in an artist’s statement, then that is for you alone to decide and do — no-one else.
- You do not have to have a degree in painting, or been born with an innate talent to be qualified to offer your work for sale.
- You are allowed to be an emerging self-taught artist. Many ‘qualified’ artists are hemmed in by rules and often use hardly anything taught at a university in their actual work they offer for sale.
- Being self-taught can give you freshness and perspective that is not hemmed in by culture, rules, procedures or techniques.
Whether your work sells or not, the greatest validation is how it makes YOU feel.
You are expressing part of you and your view of what you have created.
If someone puts their hand in their pocket and gives you some of their hard earned money to buy your book, sculpture or painting that is also validation that your work has ‘touched’ someone else. But it is not the only one.
So go forth and create. Continue to be brave. Be FEARLESS. Have courage.
Remember the creative flow you are tapping into is timeless and powerful and it is your inspiration.
It is your courage. It is your power.
Work along with that, and you will find you are never alone.
