Finding My Way Back to Me
I take off my shoes and my bare feet feel shocked at the sudden contact with the dirt and grass underneath
Suddenly I feel naked and vulnerable
All because my feet are bare
And I stand fully clothed
But aware of how tiny and insignificant and cold my feet are
And how powerful the pulse of life through the earth is through my feet
And I am stripped bare of all pretence
Of my separateness
My path in life has to be made of dirt
And my feet have to be bare
How else can I continue to feel real
When all else is plastic and fast
And all other feet are padded for protection against the bare elements
I need to walk and get lost
Surrounded by acres and acres of green trees
To be able to find my way back to me
To my true self, my soul centre
As I am lost amongst many internal voices
And I don’t know where I am anymore
I need to breathe in the ocean and feel its salty wind against my face
And hear the rhythmic pounding of its waves on rocks
To find my way back to my own heartbeat
My own rhythm
And feel strong again, instead of weak
I need to be out in the wind
So it blows away all my angst and heaviness
And leaves lightness and freshness in its wake
I need to sit in the sunshine
Like the sun warms the trees
And bask in its glory with eyes shut
Allowing its warmth to invigorate and energise me
My eye reflects the whole universe
A river pulses in my veins
A spiral is in my DNA
A star lights up my heart
I am nature and nature is me
Water springs up in every land and country of the world
It is not only in one land
It is everywhere for all people’s
God supplies food and water to everyone
No matter where they live, and who they worship
Why are houses of worship limited to Christians or Muslims or Hindus?
With separate doors and separate waters of life for separate peoples?
How is this in line with nature?
It is not.
Trees talk to me
I sit underneath a vast expanse of leaves and each one moves and rustles and speaks
Each one makes up the whole and the whole is not solid but made of myriads of parts
I want all of me to feel strong like the tree
Not divided and fractured as I feel right now
This is my prayer.
Heal me.
Please help me find my way back to my wholeness.
Written at a time of healing where I would sometimes feel my wholeness and other times feel like I fractured into a million pieces.
I had saved the draft and then forgotten about it — so here it is now! Enjoy.
