Rejecting Religion but Healing Wounds Through Sacred Words

Deborah Christensen
Mar 9 · 5 min read

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world”~ John Muir

So, as I was laying in bed the other morning it was still dark and for some strange reason, I had scriptures (from the bible) I had not thought about for years, come up into my head.

This was just weird.

These were the three verses running through my mind, and I had to look up exactly where in the bible they were from as I had forgotten.

  1. The scripture in John Chapter 1:1 that says, “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
  2. Another scripture at John Chapter 10:30, where Jesus says, “I and the father are one.”
  3. And finally, Luke Chapter 17: 20–21 where Jesus again said, “The kingdom of God is within you.”

I am no longer affiliated with any organized religion

For those of you who are familiar with my writing on Medium, you will be aware I have moved entirely away from organized religion since leaving the Jehovah’s Witness religion of my childhood nearly 20 years ago now.

So, to have scriptures randomly appear in my mind, after years of not doing so, shook me up a bit and made me sit up and take notice.

Why did these scriptures come up so randomly in my mind?

I have been writing and thinking quite a bit in the last fortnight about connections.

Specifically because in the last 12 months, I have developed greater connections within myself, with nature and with something greater than myself I have tentatively started to call ‘god.’

It was only a fortnight ago, as I was driving to work that it struck me that I do believe in some greater unexplainable force that I put the title of ‘god’ onto for want of a better word to use.

It struck me with such force at the time that I started to cry.

I have been struggling since then to understand and articulate the reason for my tears, and I am still at a bit of a loss.

Being in nature connects me to something greater than myself

I know that by having recognized and felt these myriads of small connections with the earth and many creatures in nature, as well as within myself, I have discovered a greater sense of inner peace.

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.

Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.

The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn”

~ John Muir

I have found that feelings such as calmness, acceptance, and security within me have increased.

Maybe by consciously becoming aware that I do believe in something it has yanked or tugged at that part of me that longs for unconditional and complete love.

Giving unconditional love to myself is still a work in progress

Giving myself complete and unconditional love unreservedly is something which I still have to work on providing to myself and does not come naturally.

My inner critic has been strong and powerful for nearly 54 years so undoing that damage is something I am currently actively striving to achieve.

I am writing about my change in mindset and efforts at radically self-acceptance in my publication ‘Journey Towards Health.’

What do I make of these three scriptural texts?

Maybe these scriptures danced back into my mind as they are all referring to the interplay and the unity between God and man, God and his son, and the kingdom of God (dwelling place of God) being within us.

I feel God in me, and I fall back into the security of that, and I feel supported and not just supported, but affirmed that maybe God is dwelling in my heart with all that entails.

If God is in my heart, and he is about love and forgiveness, then my life should be about love and forgiveness.

I have been searching for a ‘purpose’ a reason for being, perhaps unique to me, (not that I am trying to be an egotistical arse thinking that I have some earth-shattering and life-altering work to be used for here on earth) and I have been wondering if there is some higher purpose at play — then what is my role in that?

What is my purpose and what goals should I have in line with this purpose?

I do not yet know.

Whilst I do not know I am focusing on what I do know.

I know that writing has been a way for me to have a voice and share my experiences, so I made a commitment four months ago to write daily to improve my skills, to show up and do the work, and I am honoring that commitment.

I resolved to review my writing in 12 months and decide depending on the results, whether to continue or what direction to take with it as I was hoping my path would be clearer at that time.

I know that living where I am immersed in nature is helping me heal and also in a practical way is helping me get on my feet financially. The man I work for is a large part of adding meaning to my day.

How will I know what my purpose is and whether some higher power is really in my heart and with me?

I believe I need to relax and trust that it will all become clear as although I may not yet ‘discern’ or see it (with my eyes of understanding) I can be confident that I will feel it when the time is right and when my heart is ready.

I will keep on exercising love and forgiveness towards myself, and in the process of increased self-awareness, I know that clarity will come in relation to my life’s direction. I know that this is hard but essential work.

“The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it” ~ Carl Jung

I am not trying to be egotistical

So, I am not trying to be egotistical thinking and interpreting scripture in the way I am, when I say I believe it is referring to the interconnectedness of God with all, in all, through all, and at one with all.

There are plenty of articles written by biblical scholars with detailed explanations of why they feel the Greek and Hebrew words these scriptures are translated from are meant to be interpreted in different ways.

However, I am commenting on my understanding, that has arisen from within my heart.

In a gentle and loving way I am being moved to look at a book through new eyes, not as a book that was used to judge me but as a tool for healing.

It is flowing together in a totally beautiful and synchronistic way at the moment.

The truthfulness of these words also leaped out at me:

“Pleasant words are honey from a honeycomb — sweet to the soul and healing for the body” ~ Proverbs 16:24

Daily Connect

Musings on Life, Self Awareness, Art, Spirituality, Poetry

Deborah Christensen

Written by

Seeker of Understanding/Meaning, Explorer of Spirit, Writer, Artist, Believer/Doubter, Dreamer, Communicator, Counselor

Daily Connect

Musings on Life, Self Awareness, Art, Spirituality, Poetry

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