Open Your Heart: Being Vulnerable When Writing
Tips For The Fearful
“One ought only to write when one leaves a piece of one’s flesh in the inkpot” ~ Leo Tolstoy
Write from your heart space. Write without censoring. Write as if no one you know is going to read it. Allow all your fears, questions, answers and words to bubble up like water from a spring.
At this point of writing do not censor anything.
Sharing our stories from our lives will make us vulnerable to criticism and judgment.
Some people love to point out the ‘crack’ despite the rest of the dish still being fit for purpose.
But let them. You are allowed to be real.
“Real dishes break. That’s how you know they’re real.”
― Marty Rubin
Sharing helps anyone who has also lived your experience feel less alone and a bit more connected in the world.
Sharing dilutes shame as things are no longer left unsaid and in the dark.
“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”
― Shannon L. Alder
When you write you will become aware of your self-critical voice.
Allow yourself to remain open, to maintain openness. Sometimes if you actually put your hand over your heart, and breathe deeply into that space, repeating the word silently, “open” as you breathe, you can feel yourself relax, and feel the tension leave your body.
Write in an open frame of mind and when your body is physically open and not tense.
If what you are writing is being impacted by fear coming up as you fear what others may think — STOP.
Sit and put your hand over your heart. Breathe.
Allow your self-critical voice to have a place but let it fade like annoying static into the background.
Write like there is no tomorrow.
Write like you are expunging all the tightly kept parts of yourself, and allow them to unravel.
Feel the physical release as the words escape and take shape underneath your fingertips.
Let the shame out.
Feel shame leave your body as the words are no longer trapped inside of you, held in by fear. Feel the space left behind.
You no longer need to expend energy to keep all your thoughts and feelings secret and pushed down. The empty space where secrets were kept can be filled with creative pursuits and ideas and the energy previously used to suppress can now be used to help you surge forward and move in other endeavors.
“We are at our most powerful the moment we no longer need to be powerful.”
― Eric Micha’el Leventhal
We all want connection.
We all want to feel acceptance and belonging.
All of us fear rejection.
We all worry about letting others know things we have done, or that others have done to us, that may bring out contrary opinions.
But, you know what.
You are still worthy of love. You are worthy of life.
You are not condemned to die because of your sins and actions. You deserve a space on this earth. You deserve to be heard. You are not unworthy.
Having the courage to tell your story about who you are with your whole heart takes courage, and it is brave.
You need to have the courage to be imperfect, and accept that in your imperfection you are still worthy.
Do you have self-compassion — because if you can’t forgive yourself how can you forgive other people?
Be willing to accept yourself for who you are warts and all.
Say — This is me. Here I am. Feel me.
If you are numb because of what you are ashamed of this is because you have pushed the feelings down. When you push down these ‘bad’ feelings, you also have pushed down inadvertently all the ‘good’ feelings as they all come from the same place. The place where feelings live.
Some of us have sought to deal with our numbness, our ‘bad’ feelings, our shame — by misusing alcohol or by overindulging in other experiences.
Using anything to get ourselves out of the numbness temporarily can become a vicious cycle.
But, there is a way out.
A way out — where we don’t need to numb. We don’t need to push down.
It is by exposing what we are most afraid. Letting it out. Sharing it.
WRITE about your shame.
Write about your life.
Write down your stories. With purpose. With conviction. With passion.
Speak even though your voice trembles. Speak, even though your legs feel weak.
Speak up for those who need to hear that they are not alone in their own experience. Speak to connect with all the rest of us who are hurting inside and need to know we STILL are worthy. We are all okay.
“When what you’re writing scares you, it’s usually a sign that you’re being real” Chuck Sambucino
If we believe we are enough, despite our imperfection, we can breathe, and we can accept others in their mistakes and flaws also. By being open, authentic, genuine and accepting ourselves, in all our strengths and weaknesses — we are showing love to others.
If we are openly accepting ALL we are, then we are inviting them by our very example, to accept ALL of them as well.
How much more loving can you get than this?
What a compassionate and more loving world we could all be living in if people could be as open about their imperfect days, and their imperfect lives as they are at sharing the cropped images, the photoshopped snaps and the selective sharing of perceived perfection.
“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
So, if you are a writer, Be a writer. WRITE. Do not hold back. Throw out that fear.
The greatest gift you can bring the world is you on a plate — with all your lumpy gravy, mashed spuds and your perfect little green minted peas!
We want you ALL.
BE YOU on a page. That is all you need to do.
It is that simple.
