Fighting Against Self Doubt as an Artist
Protecting Ourselves From Creative Wet Blankets
As part of my creative journey I have been reading different books, and nurturing my creative self as it starts to tentatively emerge from within me.
The most influential books so far and most encouraging have been ‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear‘ by Elizabeth Gilbert, ‘Paint MOJO: A Mixed Media Workshop: Creative Layering Techniques for Personal Expression‘ by Tracy Verdugo, and my current favourite is ‘The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity‘ by Julia Cameron.
One of the things Julia Cameron comments on in her book is the need to surround yourself only with supportive friends, or dry warm snuggly blankets as she calls them, not ‘wet blankets’.
Wet blankets are those people or friends who ‘because they mean well’ always criticize, always point out what you could do better, or what you are not doing ‘to help you’ and who trigger all your own inner critic voices that say you shouldn’t be putting yourself out there, trying to live a creative life.
I identified with what Julia Cameron wrote about our creative selves. She describes our creative selves as timid children, full of fears and fearful of criticism, who are scared, and need nurturing. They will listen to any perceived criticism no matter how well meaning, and often retreat, not to emerge sometimes until years later, if at all.
As a part of my creative journey I have come across all number of these people who take the form of “creative wet blankets” as Julia Cameron calls them. As Julia says:
“do not indulge or tolerate anyone who throws cold water in your direction. Forget good intentions. Forget they didn’t mean it”.
I have found that it has been essential for me to follow this direction and whilst I am tentative and nervous, taking steps into new territories and opening myself up to public scrutiny by putting my creative works in the public domain, it has been imperative for me to shield myself from these sorts of people.
We all know the sort.
The friends who ‘want to help you’ by pointing out that they have been painting 20 years and still don’t feel their work is good enough to exhibit and then go on to give out unsolicited advice about all the ‘flaws’ they see in your latest painting.
It is dangerous to be around these sort of people. They are not doing it for your good.
They are appeasing their own suppressed creative selves that long to be brave enough to be putting themselves out there.
Do not listen to them. Do not invite them in your inner circle whilst you are trying to nurture your creative self and be kind to yourself. They will only put you back into self imposed exile.
They also can be recognised as the ‘friends’ who never ever give praise or say anything nice about your endeavours, but always still want to talk to you about the dramas in their life, and want your help, but are never there to support or encourage you when things are going well for you.
They are not generous enough in themselves to be able to give praise or encouragement to your endeavours. They are noticeable by their absence.
Julia describes these sort of wet blankets as “suppressed creatives”. They often are people who long to be living a creative life but their own self criticism stops them from doing so. They often surround themselves with others who are creative but unfortunately they also due to the pain of their own unfulfilled creative selves are totally critical and intolerant of all those they feel are making inroads or strides into areas they long to be themselves.
She describes them as often engaging in pulling down those who are trying to be creative; being critical of others work; subtly undermining and creating aspersions as to the motive of those who are being creative; and thus in a passive aggressive way trying to make themselves feel better as they feel diminished by others success.
They cannot admit this to themselves openly as they cannot tolerate seeing themselves as mean spirited or jealous, but they often speak under the guise of being ‘well meaning’ giving ‘advice’ or as quiet gossip impugning ‘motive’ of another artist marketing their work, and will make a point of telling others the perceived faults of those they feel threatened by.
The harm these people can create by means of their ungenerous spirits can be immense.
Julia Cameron’s whole book ‘The Artist’s Way’ is about combating two obstacles to leading a creative life;
1) our own internal critic and fears from our creative childlike self; and
2) the criticism of ‘wet blanket’ other people.
She also speaks about how to engage with and tap into the spiritual flow of creativity and reconnect with ‘source’ and nurture that relationship (whatever that is for each of us individually).
I have been trying to apply her advice in regard to undertaking and applying some of the many steps over the 12 weeks that she recommends for reinvigorating a creative life.
It has been a gift finding her book (alongside the other authors I have read in the last year mentioned above).
I can highly recommend her book to any new artists who find that both their inner critic, their inner child and critical well meaning others are undermining their confidence and stripping them of their motivation and love of pursuing the arts.
Equally I must mention, that beside removing myself quietly and carefully from overly associating with those I find ‘negative nellies’ I have found some other artists (both emerging and long term artists) to be totally open in sharing what has helped them find success and what has helped them in pursuing their careers.
I have a few that have been invaluable to me in the information they have provided.
I hope always to be as open and able to repay their kindness by sharing about what has helped me on my artistic journey, along with being open to answer any queries ones may have about any strategies I have used for developing my creative self.
I wish you well on your creative journey and if any of the above resonates with you, I hope you can surge forward, ignore the critical wet blanket voices (both internal and external) and find joy in your endeavours.
