The Tale of Clippy
A story of sadness, isolation, and holding paper together less effectively than staples.
1926: Clippy was born like any other paperclip, spawning in your grade 4 English teacher’s desk, most probably forged from the metal of the desk drawers themselves.
1927–1937: His early childhood was not the most pleasant as kids ruthlessly bent him into any shape they could (mostly just a straight line).
1937: Things started looking up in Clippy’s teenage years, however. In 6th grade, Jesse Prudeman proposed to Jessie Slutstein and Clippy had the honor of being the ring itself.
1938: The engagement was unfortunately short-lived as Jesse fell off a cliff in a tragic motorbiking accident. Distraught, Jessie threw Clippy off the same cliff into the ocean.
1938–1958: The next 10 years were spent in isolation. Clippy dedicated himself to the study of alchemy, math and computing and began creating computer processors out of any beach scraps he could find.
1958: Then, everything changed one day when a little boy named Bill stumbled across Clippy. Seeing this as his opportunity to end isolation, Clippy spoke to young Bill and asked him “Hi, I’m Clippy, your assistant. Would you like some assistance today?”. Bill was only 3 years old so he didn't…
