A Retrospective List

Part 2 — Eight Hours

i. Poach two eggs, encased in clingwrap so they roll into perfect balls, the white springing open to reveal goey yolk that soaks into hot buttered multi-grain.

ii. Better still, pay someone else to poach your eggs.

iii. Sample drip coffee for the first time, nod politely as the waiter describes its silky texture and velvet aroma, remember to pay for your coffee. Look uncomfortably down at your hands as the waiter’s oversized, bearded head bobbs up and down in your peripheral vision. Do not look at the waiter.

iv. Talk ‘houses’ with old friends. Scoff at the mansion that sprang up next door to mummy’s 70s dark-wood cabin: five bedrooms, an equivalence of en suites, two kitchens, a home theatre and a swimming pool for a yard. Suppress the strains of Luhrmann’s Gatsby playing in the background. Congratulate your friends, ask about settlement, conveyancing, titles. Suggest a house warming. Do not mention the price of rent.

v. Walk home in the sunshine. Wipe all the surfaces. Bleach the laminate countertops covered in coffee. Scrub the stains from the teacups. Fill the right side of the sink with pots, plates and cutlery transitioning from dirty to clean. Rinse, stack, repeat.

vi. Notice he is in bed.

vii. Place your hand on his shoulder, your arm on his back, your face near the nape of his neck as his head turns away from you. Feel the rise and fall of his chest align with your breath, willing him to sleep. Notice his breathing deepen and feel the first, sharp hypnagogic movements, knowing he is falling into dreams.

viii. Close your eyes.