Something I tend to overthink is……

This week has been all about overthinking!

On Daily Haloha this week we asked people to fill in the blanks on the following statement, which was-

“I tend to overthink………..”.

The overwhelming feeling I had, as I read through the 100 odd answers, was how overthinking feels so heavy. Reading all the ways people overthink got me to thinking just how much time we consume making the smallest inconsequential things, into such a big deal and how certain thoughts seem to have an ability to worm their way into our minds and sit there, getting bigger and all consuming. Believe me, I know only too well that feeling of wanting to rip my head off, stuck in an overthinking cycle.

The answers ranged from-

“I tend to overthink what people think of me. I have recently decided to not care as much and it’s making a world of a difference.” (Good move!)

“I tend to overthink probably everything! Hence stressed out all the time!”

“I tend to overthink am I being productive enough? Did I do enough, give enough, communicate enough and otherwise prove my worth today? Just being should be enough.”

A few years back I did a sponsored Sky Dive. Sometime beforehand I had been treated, by my daughters, to a weekend stay at a Buddhist Retreat house. One of the many memorable things about that weekend was seeing a painting on the wall that said, “Today is a good day to die”.

On the day of the Sky Dive that phrase came to my mind as I considered jumping at 1500ft out of an aeroplane….would today be a good day to die? As I reflected back over my life, over the adventures I’d had and all the memories I could bring to mind I decided that actually that day would have been as good as any. If that day had been my last day I would be dying happy, contented and with a peaceful mind.

Whilst I am not wishing to be morbid that phrase has come to me sometimes when I have been stuck in an overthinking cycle. If I knew this was my last day would I be stuck in an overthinking cycle trying to work through something that probably in the scheme of things was really not that important, would I be worried about what someone thought about me, would I be concerned about whether I had been enough for everyone that day.

Now I’m not saying that there is anything wrong per-se with overthinking. There is nothing wrong with any of the states we can get sucked into by our mind when we see them for what they are- just a temporary passing phenomenon that will be determining the quality of our experience in that moment.

But as your mind gets louder, your heart shuts down. Overthinking is a signal from the mind to love yourself more, and to not look at resolving the issue but at loving the one who has the issue.

If you were to think of your heart as a small child, when overthinking is going on, it is a small child hurting, trying to resolve, trying to understand and be understood, to try and feel enough.

Speak with your heart. Tell your heart it’s ok to feel feelings and every feeling is valid. Don’t shut the heart down by trying to shut the feelings down. Let it know you want to know how it’s feeling, and you will be there for it (for yourself) no matter what.

Every day is another opportunity to love ourselves more; to notice our wholeness; to notice our strength; to notice our well-being; to return to peace.

How can you love yourself more today?

How can you be more compassionate and understanding of yourself?

What are you spending a lot of time doing that may not be for your highest benefit?

What can you do differently today?

Questions to ponder on.

And if they are questions you would like to discuss, do get in touch ♥