History Professor Finds Evidence That GPA Doesn’t Matter, Hasn’t Mattered For Years

Professor Boaring lectures her class on her research regarding GPA’s insignificance.

(Originally posted on April 11, 2014.)

Eugene, Ore. — According to the extensive research from tenured UO history professor Sue Pa Boaring, GPA in every level of academia has virtually no value, just as it has for over a century.

Boaring reported that her research focuses on influential political leaders such as Fidel Castro, Mao Zedong, George W. Bush, and Kim Jon-un, all of who defied good marks as a means to a successful life.

“They were successful because they didn’t care about GPA,” Boaring said. “They put their time into more important things, like PR and being geniuses at war.”

Boaring’s research indicates that these leaders’ strength in PR does not just stem from “knowing people of power, like George W. getting into Yale with mediocre grades because of his father,” but rather from “their ability to hold a sober conversation with very boring people for at least 5 minutes, and, at times, convince people that they are doing work when they are really doing nothing.”

Hook Aires, a professor of English at UO, believes Boarings’s research has positive implications for students in that they don’t really have to do anything academically and should start hanging out in clubs and to work on having sober conversations, which would set them apart from others in the clubs.

Aires encourages students to get involved with particular elite clubs, such as LARPERS ‘R’ US, We Want Money Now, and Barely Passing College 101.

“I have yet to do research on it, but my current understanding is that those clubs have thrived since the days of the Greeks and Romans, thanks to young minds who couldn’t care less about grades,” Aires said.

Laim Dood, a UO senior who is on track to be the Class of 2014 valedictorian and a graduate research assistant at Goldman and Sachs, believes Boaring’s research is too self-evident to hold much weight.

“Yeah, man, GPA is meant for brainwashing, and it doesn’t matter at all in whatever career path you choose. You don’t need research on well-known leaders to say that. Hell, look at Einstein. He’s the epitome of genius and sucked at school. That obviously is enough evidence right there.”

Yet, Boaring’s research has been validated by employers who, in recent statistics, have been shown to predominately believe that college students are under-prepared for the work force as a result of focusing on GPA. In the “real world,” GPA just isn’t a big deal anymore when it comes down to being hired at a job.

“With all this confirmation about not needing to worry about having a good GPA, you can finally spend more time on important things, such as telling your girlfriends or boyfriends you love them without each of them knowing. That’s what Bill and Hilary Clinton did,” Boaring said.