Everything Is Perfect

But for our limiting expectations and judgments

My husband and I are heading home from our honeymoon right now, and I’m sick as a dog. Yesterday, I came down with a bout of food poisoning that kept me up most of the night and has continued our whole way home. Let’s just say that my brand new husband has now seen (and heard) a brand new side of me.

Before that, on our first day, he’d gotten so sunburnt we’d had to spend the whole next day indoors.

And yet, it was a perfect honeymoon.

Did he enjoy watching people snorkel outside our window while he had to stay inside? I don’t think he did. But we both loved making the best of it. Being the tech-savvy guy he is, he brought the room’s TV out onto the patio so we could watch Game of Thrones outside, but in the shade.

Did I enjoy spending last night going to the bathroom every ten minutes? Not particularly. But I loved the moment when I was puking in the parking lot and closed the car door so he couldn’t hear me, and he walked around the car and said, “Oh darling, I need to hear you. I can always hear you,” and held my hair out of my face until I could find a hair tie.

I guess the short version to say all of this is, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” but in order to make lemonade from an authentic, joyful place, I think we need to strip away our prejudices against lemons in the first place. In other words, it’s easier to enjoy life’s every moment when we don’t weigh ourselves down with ideas, judgments, and shoulds.

There were moments when I was disappointed about how our honeymoon was going. I’d been so looking forward to massages that I was momentarily bummed when Daniel’s sunburn was too painful to be touched.

But then I had an insight, that the point of the honeymoon was to be together — to relax and enjoy each other. And so, for the most part, that’s what we did. All our other expectations be damned.

What is the point of what you’re doing, friend? What’s the bigger picture? Can you focus on that, and leave the rest of your expectations and judgments and negative opinions about lemons behind?

In my experience, it sure is worth a try.

Brooke is a mentor, writer, and recovered worry wart. She helps fellow angsters get out of their heads and into their lives.