In Defense of Forgetfulness

Why losing your train of thought can sometimes be a gift.

Brooke Landberg
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read

I’m regularly that person who interrupts the flow of conversation to ask, “Wait, what were we talking about a second ago?” or, “Wait, what was that other thing you wanted to say before?”

I do it to myself in my own head, too, but I used to do it much more often.

Back then, I’d be riding a train of thought — working out a problem, perhaps, or trying to figure out why something was the way it was, or otherwise ruminating — when I’d start to lose track of where I was going.

Do you know that feeling? When a thing you’re holding in your mind’s eye just — sort of — slips away?

When that used to happen to me, I’d feel a little squirt of adrenaline. An amount of panic comparable to almost dropping something unimportant. I’d try to find my way again — worried I wouldn’t be able to figure out whatever it was I was trying to figure out if I didn’t get myself back on track.

Now I see this sort of forgetfulness a bit differently.

For one thing, the harder I try to fight my way back to where my thoughts were a moment ago, the further I seem to get from where I thought I was headed. “Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone,” and all that.

What if losing track of a thought is actually a gift?

More often than not, the thought I’ve lost was either causing me suffering or wasting my time anyway. When I’m ruminating, angsting, or trying very hard to figure something out, I’m certainly not having any fun. Nor am I getting anywhere. Indeed it’s always after the rumination phase stops when the insight I’m really looking for pops into my head.

It seems to me my big beautiful brain is doing me a favor by letting me forget what I was thinking about. It’s saying, “You don’t really need to go there. Why don’t you just let it go?”

So that’s what I’ve been doing recently. When I forget what I was thinking about, I take it as an opportunity to let go of whatever it was and move on to something else. I thank my resilient mind for letting me off the hook and bringing me some fresher thinking.

So far, I haven’t been aware of forgetting anything important. I haven’t let myself be stumped, let problems go un-solved, or given up on making plans. Quite the opposite has happened actually. I’ve found I feel less irritated and more grateful. I’m more productive. I seem to learn more quickly.

Most of all, I’m learning to trust the way wisdom and wellbeing work, that they come naturally from a quiet mind — not from adding more noise to the noise.

What a gift it can be to forget, to be forced to relax into the present, to see what inspiration might arise, what lasting peace might begin to be revealed.

The Daily Lift

Grounded insights on living well — and loving well — in an unwell world.

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Brooke Landberg

Written by

Working toward freedom.

The Daily Lift

Grounded insights on living well — and loving well — in an unwell world.

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