What Gets In the Way of Our Resilience?

After all, we were built to bounce back.

Brooke Landberg
Jul 27, 2017 · 2 min read

Yesterday I pointed to the idea of resilience being an everyday thing — the way we’re made to live — not just an uplifting experience reserved for tough times.

If that’s the case, what stands in the way of experiencing our resilience — and the clarity, creativity, compassion, peace, ease, wisdom, and wellbeing that go along with it — on a more regular basis?

It’s surprisingly simple, actually:

The thing keeping us from bouncing back quickly is a mistaken belief that we need time to bounce back.

We hear that brain chemistry causes our emotions, and therefore imagine ourselves trapped in some sort of physically-created stasis. But what if brain chemistry is actually wildly fluid (it is), and what if our brain chemistry is a reflection of the thoughts and feelings we take seriously, and not the other way around?

When we start to see that our experience of life is like a fast-moving river — that it changes quite quickly if we allow it to — our brain chemistry starts to change, too.

Our moods are like scabs. If we leave them alone, it’s amazing how fast they heal. If we keep picking at them, they keep bleeding, take forever to heal, and sometimes leave permanent scars.

Our thoughts and feelings are like those of an infant if we don’t get up in there and take them too seriously. An infant can flash through every emotion possible in a matter of moments, and they are doing just fine. It isn’t until we forget that this is how we’re made — it isn’t until we learn to pin every feeling down and examine or manage it — that we start to suffer.

So what to do? How to unlearn all this? How to unleash our innate resilience?

From where I’m standing, all it takes is an insight. If a false premise — that our thoughts and feelings risk becoming permanent states unless we get in there and try to fix them — is the only thing standing between us and freedom, then there’s nothing to do. Only something to see.

Try letting your experience be more like a river, or an infant — and see how quickly you bounce back. The more you see this, the more you’ll trust it, and the more resilience you’ll experience.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Go take a look, see for yourself, and let me know what you find.


Brooke is a mentor, writer, and recovered worry wart. She helps fellow angsters get out of their heads and into their lives.

The Daily Lift

Grounded insights on living well — and loving well — in an unwell world.

Brooke Landberg

Written by

Working toward freedom.

The Daily Lift

Grounded insights on living well — and loving well — in an unwell world.

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