By Hunter Keyser


Jumping Jackrabbits! This boy is a genius!

He’s gifted with greatness, and bread for elitness!

Gad zukes! I don’t foresee him being defeated!

He’s as good as they get, he’ll be rife with achievement!


And this girl! She’s the next Millennium Child!

Endowed with the heart and the smarts and the smile!

Her efforts will surely be proven worthwhile!

Line up behind her and march, single file!


You blithering heathens, the rest of you dopes

We’ll have to have genius boy show you the ropes

We’ll mold you until you’re all his isotopes

And then you’ll be fixed, and there may just be hope!


We’ve laid out a clean path to life’s great success

No other way I know would make any sense

Intellect, discipline, and suppression of sex!

Just follow the lead of those who do it best!


Blast! Why won’t you rats get in line?

We’ve trained you for years to sharpen your minds!

We’ve given you books, made you read every line

But still none of you match the golden girl’s design.


I know! We’ll push harder. That must be the way.

We’ve been far to lenient, that is, ’til today!

Our focus has spread ‘cross a widened spray,

But that hasn’t worked, so we’ll take more away.


But wait, our two model citizens now

Are flunking their courses…ah! but how?

God taketh away the same way he endows

There must be some glitch with these two as well, now


It’s been years and I’ve witnessed a strange occurance

One nitwit who passed through this system imperfect

And by our estimations would prove to be worthless

Has gone on to live greatly and with great purpose


And those two who we prided, yes they have done well

We knew that they would, and we credit ourselves

For the rest of those dummies who tried like hell

To fit to the model, fortune never fell


I do wonder why they couldn’t make the grade

And why that one halfwit child has a good life made

Even though it’s not in a school-approved trade…

I hate to concede that he’s doing…okay


He always diverged from what we would tell him

And look at the fortunate fate that befell him!

It doesn’t add up, that devious hellion…

I smell devilry, I swear, I smell it!


It seems that those who fit our mold

Did not have to be made, they just did it cold

And the boy who slipped through here, his move was so bold

He steered his own ship, and it’s under control!


I may have just come to an epiphany

You can’t make a person be what they can’t be

Perhaps the whole time…no, it can’t be!

How foolish to think such a thought! Silly Me!