To the dad who said no to candy
Even after the child plead for it
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In the queue at Nilgiris today, I saw a father and his child standing ahead, the father emptying his basket at the counter.
For quite a while, the child had been pleading to him for some colorful candy placed near the billing. “Daddy please daddy! Please! Please! Please!” he jumped.
The dad frowned continuously at this and finally said it verbally.
“No.”
He finished the billing, got the boy and stepped out.
And I thought, ‘Wow that’s a tough job. Knowing that he was doing the kid a favor despite hurting the young thing’s feelings and earning his hate.
In the afternoon, just as I was leaving home to head out, I discovered that the white shirt I tailored at Delhi for my fair-well and convocation — my suit shirt I call it — was BLUE with color. Completely blue.
That’s my tailored suit’s shirt! My only white shirt! The interview shirt!
‘MOM! EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. I PUT THIS FOR WASH SEPARATELY! SEPARATELY!’
Mom smiled sheepishly at me. ‘Son, I didn’t know your jacket was going to leak color son. I put them to wash together. It’s my mistake.’
‘C’mon Mom! You know I wanted this shirt to be washed separately. Do you know how hard it is find a good white shirt without pockets? Do you know how much time I have to spend replacing this?…’
‘I know son. You know I’d never do it on purpose. I only left them together for a minute. I turned aside and back and your shirt was blue. Only I know how my heart pounded when I saw what happened. I was telling it to your brother and feeling very hurt about it. I couldn’t tell it to you.’
I now have to replace the shirt.
And there’s 3 things to it:
- I don’t have time. I have an interview in 10 days.
- I am broke from my trip to Mumbai and also because it’s month’s end.
- This new shirt has to better than the last shirt. I’ve learnt how much better a white shirt can look, feel, and fit.
As I’m heading out, I can drop in on a Raymonds and order a tailored shirt. It’ll be just in time.
I went to dad. Dad knew about the scene.
‘Dad, I need 3k for a white shirt’
‘I don’t have it,’ dad said.
‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I JUST REPAID YOU 23k’
‘I can’t give it. There are no rules that you have to wear a white shirt for an interview.’
I stormed off and headed out.
I instantly regretted asking the man for money. I should have simply asked my younger brother.
Seated in the bus after I stepped out, I felt hate for my dad. I also felt hate for how my limits were always tested at home and how embarrassed I was at handling my anger poorly. This habit of displaying anger often carries over to the workplace. A b-school aspirant needs to have a thorough handle on his anger. I do have a good handle on it at work but home is an entirely different league of limit testing.
I breathed and tried to think.
‘Why am I so angry with dad? Because he doesn’t understand the importance of things, of time, of spending on the right stuff. He never gives money easily. 3k will be an immaterial expense a few years down my career.’
Just then, the scene at the supermarket with the dad and his kid came to my head.
‘So you mean when you found your shirt was gone, and you wanted to replace it with a new, more expensive shirt instantly, Dad should have nodded in agreement that his son doesn’t spend money needlessly, and should have lent you 3k? Crap. That does sound a bit like spoiling a child.’
My anger began to abate.
What an emotional battle ground home is.
My thought is clear as I write this but I’m still angry, and I want to be angry. My head says, ‘Here’s evidence you’re still young.’
