I turned 42 in September. I’ll admit, I wasn’t looking forward to adding another number to the growing pile associated with my age, but have been pleasantly surprised with what this has meant for my libido.
I’m not alone.
Most women I talk to see an uptick in the sexual prowess in their late 30s and early 40s. And it doesn’t have to stop there. I know women in their 50s and 60s who are still enjoying all life has to offer in the sexual arena.
When my ex and I were part of the swinging lifestyle, there were ladies in their 70s actively participating regularly in weekend gatherings. These women didn’t let age stop them from partaking in all things sensual and could usually run circles around their male counterparts 20 and 30 years their junior.
It should come as no surprise as we get older we get wiser. At least, some of us do. We learn things we thought as younger people just simply aren’t true. I was one of those sadly mistaken younger folks who thought my parents only had sex to produce myself and my brother.
I just knew my grandparents couldn’t possibly be having sex in their 50s or gods help me, their 60s.
But I was conditioned to think this. Sexualizing older people is not something our society allows. We’re taught the older someone gets, the less useful they are. Older women, especially, become somewhat invisible.
The number of times I’ve been asked by past lovers, who I was trying to be sexy for, when I would occasionally dress up or do something with my hair, or put on some lipstick is countless.
The only recognition I got for the effort, actually, was ridicule.
Because I was past the age of expiration for being beautiful, being feminine, there was no point in bothering.
This is a problem.
I’m not one for hair and makeup, it’s just not my thing. But I love to see other women who take the time to do it for themselves. When you can tell they are proud of what they’ve done.
And I don’t think it matters if they’re 20 or 80.
Beauty may fade over time, but the inner beauty that shines through, the sensuality we carry with us throughout our lives, never goes away.
We can be sexual, we can be powerful, we can be feminine, and we can be amazing lovers, no matter how old we get.
With age comes wisdom and experience, so the next time you consider turning down that older woman because she doesn’t shine quite as bright, know you may be turning down the time of your life.
Not only do we know what we’re doing, we love to show it.