This is What Happens When Your Sexual Needs Are Met

It doesn’t start in the bedroom or with sex, at all.

Demeter deLune
Jan 30 · 4 min read
woman sitting on a bed that’s hanging from the ceiling
woman sitting on a bed that’s hanging from the ceiling
Photo by Mak Mozza on Unsplash

When I began writing about sex, one of the things I expected to hear a lot was how disappointed people were with their sex lives.

And I have, unfortunately, heard it a lot.

What surprises and thrills me are the number of people I talk to who are happy with their sex lives.

Nothing makes me happier than knowing people are having their sexual needs met.

Although I talk to more folks about being dissatisfied with the amount of sex they’re having or even the kind of sex they’re having, knowing there are people out there who are genuinely excited about the way things are going for themselves makes me smile.

So, how do we get there?

By now, you’re probably well aware of what I’m going to tell you, but it bears repeating.

Communication.

Not only do you need to communicate with your partner(s), you need to have a long talk with yourself about what it looks like to have your sexual needs met.

We’ve been in a relationship with ourselves a lot longer than we’ve been in one with our partner(s).

However, that doesn’t mean we’ve been in a good one with ourselves.

I haven’t always taken care of myself the way I should, sexually or otherwise. My self love game is lacking. I’ve sheepishly admitted before, my first real orgasm didn’t happen until I was in my mid-twenties, long after I started having sexual intercourse.

Life is too short to have bad sex, even with yourself.

You deserve better.

It’s not just women who need to learn to love themselves, I’m talking to you gentlemen out there, too.

I believe guys get a bad rap when it comes to what they desire. In talking with men who’ve opened up after reading some of my articles, and conversations with my husband, I can tell you it isn’t just ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’ most men are after.

They like being romanced, touched, teased, and brought to the edge as much as we do.

For some gods awful reason, men have been conditioned to believe acknowledging those things makes them less of a man.

I’m here, along with my other sex positive writers, to tell you, unpack that bullshit and set it free.

There’s nothing more manly and sexy than a guy who is willing to talk to me about what he desires. What gets him off. What turns him on.

Tell me about it over text, while I’m working or doing laundry.

Whisper it in my ear while we’re making dinner together in the kitchen.

Send me naughty pictures with notes attached.

And definitely tell me what you’re feeling when we’re fucking; that’s hot and gets me wetter.

That’s part of what does it for me, but that may not be it for you. That’s okay, we’re all different. How boring would life be if we weren’t?

Communicating with your partner is important for this very reason. What works for you, for me, for Joe Blow down the street, may not work for your partner.

Mrs. Sexy Wife may not be into sexting, so it will do nothing for her for you to send her dirty ditties while she’s at work.

Mr. Hot Husband might not appreciate titties in his text messages, so you wouldn’t want to freak him out by sending naughty photos while he’s hanging out with the boys.

*I’m not sure what world that last one would happen in, but you get the picture.*

When we talk we can begin to explore and that’s where our needs are met. Exploration with the one we love, no matter what that looks like, coupled with good communication, trust, and open-mindedness are the keys to having your sexual needs met.

You don’t have to be anything more than yourself to be satisfied. If that looks like vanilla sex, lick that creamy goodness up and enjoy the ride. If it looks more like you shop at Home Depot for more than home appliances, strap in and enjoy the ride.

We’re all different and that’s a wonderful thing. Where we’re the same is in our desire to have our needs met. It’s possible when we’re willing to put in the work.

Daily Sex

We give you what you need.

Demeter deLune

Written by

Contact: demeterdelune@gmail.com Newsletter: https://demeterdelune.substack.com Website: http://hotdemeter.art.blog

Daily Sex

Daily Sex

We give you what you need.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade