How to Get Things Done as a Stay-at-Home Parent

Photo credit: TeroVesalainen/Pixabay

For months, my wife and I debated one of us staying home to be the primary influencer and teacher of our young daughter (she’s one and a half).

It didn’t make sense for that person to be my wife, because she’s been blessed to be with the same local government employer since high school, which means that she will be eligible for early retirement with pension and health benefits in less than a decade.

It didn’t really make sense for that person to be me, either, because my job paid significantly higher. But as we thought about it and prayed about it, God made the decision for us. I was asked to travel 100% of the time, and I’d only get to be home one day a week. It was either that, or be laid off.

I wasn’t about to put that level of difficulty on my wife, especially with other things going on in the family, so I accepted a layoff and I’ve been staying at home with our daughter since October.

As a stay-at-home dad, I still feel it’s important to contribute financially in some way — especially since our budget was cut by about two thirds with the loss of my job. So, the days are pretty hectic. Especially considering that I’m taking a class, teaching youth group every week at church, and heading the church’s hospitality team.

And when I feel overwhelmed, I have a tendency to simply give up instead of getting at least part of it done. So I knew that I needed a plan! First, I listed out everything that I need or want to get done every day:

• Quiet time
• Dishes
• Laundry
• Complete at least one paid task
• Write an article
• Prepare church youth group lesson
• Prepare church hospitality team schedules/meetings
• Complete reading for class
• Finish portfolio website
• Post to Instagram on my photography account
• Post to church social media at least once per week
• Exercise
• Other random tasks like reviewing auto insurance coverage, freezing my daughter’s credit, etc.
• Listen to podcasts that will grow my faith

To get all that done every day is a tall order, because my primary job is to care for and be present with my daughter. Which means that the list above is relegated to naptime, occasional periods where she’s looking at a book or playing quietly, and the evenings after my wife and daughter are in bed.

Next, I thought about the number of opportunities I realistically have during the day to work on the list. I came up with two of them:

First nap (which is pretty much a guarantee still at this point, she’s only one and a half), and second nap/playtime (not guaranteed).

Then, I prioritized. What are the things that are most critical?

Quiet time automatically is priority #1. And after decades of leaving exercise on the back burner, my health has started to decline, so exercise comes in at #2. So, those two things will get done every day during my daughter’s first nap.

Housework is high on the priority list, too, because I don’t want my wife to have to do it all on her days off. The problem is, our home is too small for me to fold laundry without a curious toddler undoing it all, so that has to be done only during naps. So typically, laundry comes in at #3. And then the odd jobs I do to make money come in next at #4. I can usually get all of these things done during her first nap.

And, as a bonus, I’ll listen to a podcast (as mentioned in the list) while exercising and doing laundry.

So the list so far looks like this:

First Nap:

1. Quiet time (and coffee, usually)
2. Exercise (a quick, living room, bodyweight type set during which I listen to a podcast)
3. Laundry (during which I finish the podcast or listen to another)
4. Earn money or do work that provides the potential to earn (via odd jobs I find online, or blogging)

Second Nap (or Playtime):

1. Reading for class
2. Dishes
3. Business items (blog, work on my photography portfolio, research)
4. Other items (youth group lessons, Instagram photography posts, etc)

And whatever “other items” I don’t get done, I further prioritize; if they’re truly important, I’ll take time over the weekend to do them. If not, they don’t get done.

How do you prioritize your daily workload as a stay-at-home parent?